Venus, Mars, and Saturn.
By Timothy Price
Jake was high as a kite when he walked into the convenience store. After looking around nervously to assure himself there was no one there besides the clerk, he walked up to the counter, pulled out a pistol, and demanded all the cash in the drawer. Before the clerk could react, Jake heard a voice to his right ask, “Are you sure you want to do this?” He turned and saw a rather nondescript man standing about six feet from him. “What did you say?” Jake asked, jerking his head nervously between the mysterious man and the clerk. The man didn’t answer Jake. He asked the clerk how much cash was in the till. “Less than one hundred dollars,” the clerk told the man. The man turned back to Jake and asked, “You want to commit a felony and possibly murder for less than a hundred bucks?” Jake stood dumbstruck, trying to think of something to say.
The man continued, “I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you two hundred dollars if you put your gun away and go to the coffee shop across the street with me. Over there you can tell me your story over a cup of coffee, on me, of course. If I find you suitable, I might offer you a job.” Thoroughly confused by the man and his offer, Jake continued looking back and forth between the clerk and the man before he pointed his pistol at the man and said, “You’re messing with my head, man! Are you like a cop, man? Or maybe the Devil? Or what? Well, it’s like it doesn’t matter, man…”
Jake started to squeeze the trigger when he felt his finger breaking against the trigger guard as the pistol was ripped from his hand before he felt the back of his pistol tearing at his face. He only heard the first of three shots that sent bullets ripping through his heart. He hovered over his body that was slumped on the floor at the feet of the man holding his pistol. He heard a voice say, “Never turn down an invitation from the Devil.” Darkness fell all around.
The man ejected the magazine from Jake’s pistol and racked the slide, sending the chambered round tumbling through the air before it bounced off Jake and splashed into his blood pooling on the floor around him. The man stepped over Jake’s body as he laid the magazine and pistol on the counter in front of the clerk, who stood like a statue in shock from the scene that had unfolded before him. “The police will want these for evidence.” The man told the clerk as he turned and walked out of the store, disappearing into the street.
44 thoughts on “The Invitation”
I never know what I might find here any given day, but whatever it is, is always interesting! 🤔🙂
Thanks, Susan. I try and make things interesting.
Very true, Susan. Me too!
Well penned short story, Tim.
Thanks, Maj & Sher.
What a gripping read Tim. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thanks, Miriam. I’m happy you liked it.
A song for your fabulously devilish story Timothy …
Thanks, Ivor. I love Charlie Daniels. Here’s a couple fun versions of the song: https://youtu.be/X9uk9IcoQ0w. https://youtu.be/LTdeQIY0jjs.
Thanks Timothy .. I’ll look them up in the morning 😊🌏
Didn’t see that coming. Excellent write, Tim.
Excellent twist. Wee done. Really loved this.
Wow, Tim! What a story! I’m not sure he’d be better off accepting that invitation. 🤣😈
For sure. Jake should have said no to drugs. Thanks, Marina.
A ha ha… well.. yeah! 😉
You have many facets and ways to entertain Tim! Truly talented.
That is a great story, Tim. You are a good writer.
Pretty great, Tim!
Your writing just keeps getting better!
Nice set up and twist!
I enjoyed that, Tim. Great twist, Sir!
That did not go at all the way I thought it would! Love that you kept me riveted till the surprising end. Excellent, Tim!
Thanks, Dale. I happy you got a surprise out of it.
[…] The Invitation […]
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politeness
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste.
That sums it up pretty well. I think a lot of clowns accept the invitation. Thanks, Brian.
Hmmm … we’ve had a few stickup’s where the take was less than $20, and the clerk has taken a single round, well, you know, a date with the gas chamber.
CO still has the gas chamber? NM did away with it. A lot of shootings down here seem to for no reason whatsoever. Thanks, David.
Yes, we still have the gas chamber though lethal injection is now the process. They have kept it in working order.
We have catch and release down here. Nothing lethal for criminals unless a crazed citizen goes medieval on a perp. Then the law really goes after said crazed citizen.
We have the “Make My Day” law, in which deadly force can be used if an intruder crosses your threshold. Police still does a shooting investigation. Generally, the police calls it a clean shoot. The 2-3 cases that went to trial, the jury has always returned a not guilty verdict. Jurors afterwards say it was a clean shoot.
HI Timothy, that was a most interesting twist to the story. Very clever.
Thanks, Roberta, I’m happy you like it.
Wow Tim that is one great freaking story! Very entertaining and you couldn’t stop reading wondering what was going to happen. Beautifully done! Is this stuff what you think of all day while your at the office? Especially that naked Barbie! haha I love visiting your site, there is always a little bit of everything but now you have stories and great collabs with this pantless woman who works from home! BRAVO my friend! Do you remember if you did a really great job on a paper or something you could get a star on your work, ok neither do I, perhaps that was my daughter, I am getting old and confused. Big hugs, thank you for all the entertainment.