Freaky Friday! Sweet Child Of The Earth Of Mine

Some people will find this parody really creepy. It will certainly bug the hell out of other people. While a few people might even like the photos and footage of children of the earth, also known as Jerusalem Crickets and Potato Bugs. However you react, you might get a laugh out of me trying to fit “sweet child of the earth of mine” into the space of “sweet child o mine”. The lyrics are at the end of the post.

I was inspired to write the lyrics to this parody in February 2019 when I came across a Child of the Earth out trying to warm itself in the cold winter sun. I’ve worked on and off recording it for the past two and a half years. I got it to what Laurie thinks is a multi-dimensionally bloody awful state about 4 months ago. I was hoping to see a lot of Children of the Earth this summer to get more photos and footage of them, but, alas, no such luck. I borrowed footage from Jerusalem Crickets Only Date Drummers Deep Look, This Potato Bug Eats Everything! (Documentary), Killer Potato Bug Attack, and 9609 New Mexico Child Of The Earth (Another Journey in MyZahs life).

As a consolation prize, below are photos of the pTerodactyl doing a pterodactyl version of a hop, skip, and a jump, and cows in the cornfield.

Sweet Child Of The Earth Of Mine
Parody Lyrics by Timothy Price

It made me sad when I saw its face
Walking along in that lonely place
With a morning light so cold
Sun barely lit the sky

It seemed to shiver and it couldn’t run
trying to warm in that winter sun
And if it stayed too long
It would surely die

Oh-oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine

Its eyes were fixed, perfectly still
All-round in the darkest brown
Couldn’t seem to show the pain
Of that cold hard ground

Vulnerable exposed in an unsafe place
Without a place to hide
Try to save it from the freezing pain
Or simply pass it by?

Oh-oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine

Ooooooh! Oh-oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine

Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine

Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?

Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?

Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?

Where did it go now?
Where did it go?

Where, where did it go now?

Where’d it go?
Where-ere-ere-where did it go now?

Where did it go now?

Where-ere-ere-ere-ere where did it go now?

Where did it go now?

Ooh oh oh where did it go now?

Where did it go?
Where did it go?

Whoa whoa whoa

Chupacabra

This is literally a bloody awful music video. Gwendolyn and Glenda have been doing great imitations of Chupacabra. I had to make a parody music for for them with them doing their imitations. This video will definitely give Brian nightmares.

Chupacabra
Lyrics: Timothy Price
Music: John Lennon

Chupacabra’s gonna to get you
He’s going to grab you by the head
He’s going to rip your throat out Mr.
He’ll suck your blood until you’re dead
Why in the hell do you want to park
And walk in the bosque after dark
What do you think you’re trying to prove
Chupacabra he’ll get to you

Chupacabra’s going to get you
He’s going to grab you by the face
Gonna suck all your blood out sister
Take you from the human race
You know you’re never going to be
Saved by a fool not me
Who the hell do you think I am
A Superman
Or Sam I Am

Beware You’ll all die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Chupa he’s the one
Bleeding everyone just for fun

Chupacabra’s gonna to get you
Gonna knock you off your feet
He’ll pull you down asunder
Like everyone he meets
You should not be standing there
You will surely meet disappear
And why it’s not so very clear
That Chupa’s everywhere
He kills and takes his share

Beware You’ll all die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Chupa he’s the one
Bleeding everyone yes everyone
Yeah yeah, alright, uh huh, ah

Beware You’ll all die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Beware You’ll all die young

Beware You’ll all die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Beware You’ll ll die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Beware You’ll all die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Beware You’ll ll die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood

Frumpy Man

Frumpy Man
Music: Emerson, Lake and Palmer
Lyrics: Timothy Price

He had black mittens
And lawn chairs by the shore
All made of rattan
In red crushed velour

Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was
Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was

White face, skin weathered
A few hairs on his head
Drove an AMC Pacer
In autumn red

Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was
Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was

He liked to roast smores
On a candle while he sang
No honor, no glory
No women what a shame

Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was
Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was

With a Bud Light beside him
He brooded as he sighed
A gutter-ball had cursed him
Into last place, he did slide

Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was
Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was

Purple Stain

Purple Stain

As with most parodies, Purple Stain started out to be humorous. However, the lyrics took a turn toward the more serious aspects of life. Purple Stain was inspired by Holly at House of Heart in the Fall of 2020 when we were commenting back and forth on images and poetry. I thought for a long time how do a video to go with the song. I finally worked it out.

Many of us don’t fit “Normal” as defined by Miriam Webster*:

  1. Conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern : characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine.
  2. According with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, procedure, or principle.
  3. Approximating the statistical average or norm.
  4. Generally free from physical or mental impairment or dysfunction : exhibiting or marked by healthy or sound functioning.
  5. Not exhibiting defect or irregularity.
  6. Within a range considered safe, healthy, or optimal.

For we who have fallen outside almost all of the above definitions of “normal” at one time or another throughout our lifetimes for various reasons that are often outside of our control, we have dealt with “normal” people who do not understand the issues surrounding the problems we have had, problems we have to deal with continually, and the problem of being different and trying to fit into a “normal” world.

Purple Stain
By Timothy Price
Inspired by Holly Rene Hunter

Cleverly we put off until tomorrow
Wearily the things that make us go insane
Fondly running into the waves and splashing
Fondly raising our glasses, waking with a purple stain

Purple stain, Purple stain
Are we insane? So insane
Purple rain, Purple stain

So here we are scrubbing and washing out that purple stain.

Forever longing wanting to be like others
Our sensitivities make us like the strangest friends
Unfortunately we feel our sensibilities are plundered
Again the same our glasses raised as we pretend

Purple stain, Purple stain
Are we insane? So insane
Purple stain, Purple stain

Funny how we see, we see how things are changing purple stain

You and I we need to live as two
Look! Something new
That time we had to greet her
She stared at us like we’re insane
I thought you were going to lose it
As it was all about it was all about our purple stain

Purple stain, Purple stain
Are we insane? So insane

Yeah!

Let’s get us out of here purple oh the pain
Walking hand in hand

We only want, we only want our sanity

We only want our sanity

Storm clouds built up in the early afternoon, with a constant rumble of thunder as the clouds rolled in. I took the above photo at 1:30 pm and the temperature was 81ºF (27.2ºC). Thirty minutes later the clouds pelted us with hail and heavy rain that lasted for thirty minutes or so. The temperature fell to 55ºF (12.7ºC) in a matter of minutes. Needless to say, our poor peonies got beaten up by the hail.

*https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/normal

All Day And All Night Through

I am super excited about this collaboration between Resa at Graffiti Lux Art & More and ArtGowns, and me. Resa mentioned that the construction project to replace the 130 year old sewer lines that run under the street in front of where she lives in the old area of Toronto, Canada goes on “all day and all the night through!” I told her that would make a good parody. Resa wrote the parody lyrics to go to All Day And All Of The Night by The Kinks. I go the music and recorded the first round with my vocals. I sent the music to Resa and asked her to try singing her parody. When she sent me the audio file of her vocals, I was like “Wow!” she sounded super good. I mixed her vocals in with the music, Resa sent me video clips and photos of the construction from her window, and I put the parody music video together. Laurie was reviewing the video and she thought there needed to be more desperation in the chorus, and asked if I could add construction sounds to the chorus. I pulled the scraping sounds off a backhoe video and added snippets of the scrapping and clanking to the chorus and solo. That was enough to give a better sense of desperation to the parody.

When Resa first told me about the construction I really felt sorry for her. When we lived in Madrid, Spain, the city constructed a new Metro stop about 100 feet from the apartment building we lived in. The construction noise went on 24/7 for a year. It was horrible. However, we were not in lock down, and so it was easy for us to simply go to parks, museums, and bars to get away from the noise. Toronto is still locked down with stay at home orders, so Resa cannot simply say the heck with it, go out and get away from it all. She can go on walks, but she is very limited in her activity under the lock down orders.

ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT THROUGH
By Resa McConaghy

Oh they have got loud work to do in the day time
Evac, jack hammers and backhoes too, all the night through
There is no time nowhere to hide losing my mind too
It’s cruel they pound and crash then roar all of the time

All day and all night through
All day and all night through
All day and all night through

I believe this crazy work will always be there
Oh yeah all day and night time through – PTSD
There is no time nowhere to hide losing my mind
Evac, jack hammers and backhoes too, not a good time

All day and all night through
All day and all night through

Oh go away

I just know that they will be here forever
Oh yeah all day and night time through, fixing the sewer
There is no time nowhere to hide losing my mind
Oh they have got loud work to do in the day time

All day and all night through
All day and all night through
All day and all night through

Life’s Habit

Life’s Habit
Music: Jefferson Airplane
Lyrics: Timothy Price

One bill makes you wonder
And one Bill makes you sad
And the bill for the electric
Only makes you mad
Was in Corrales
When I took the call

When climbing walls becomes a habit
And there’s no paper in the stall
You dream of hula and smoking hot chicks
You have nothing left at all
To call Corrales
Where I take my calls

You see those men on the surfboard
Hang ten got it all on GoPro
They crash and burn like Max Headroom
Now their moving very slow
Was in Corrales
I had seen the show

Sympathy nor restoration
Dialog cut off is dead
And the dark nights reel us backwards
And feeling mad about what’s ahead
Remember simple words you said
“Try peace instead, try peace instead”

Loki’s Beauty Rest

I recorded the music for Loki’s Beauty Rest in 2018. It’s a parody of Jethro Tull’s Locomotive Breath. I’ve been thinking about how to do a video for the parody for a long time, especially what to do with the long introduction and the meow meow solo. I finally came up with what I thought are decent solutions. Parody Lyrics at the end of the post.

Sunrise

Sunset

Loki’s Beauty Rest
Music: Jethro Tull
Arrangement: Timothy Price
Preformed by AWB

In the bustling catness
Loki needs his beauty rest
He’s the all-time snoozer
Awakened nonetheless

Oh, I hold the dish a scraping
Tie hanging off my brow
Spunk’s playing with the candle
And Loki won’t stop snoring
No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down

He sees those pens to knock off
From the table one by one
He doesn’t have to pretend
In bed he’s having fun

While I’m standing in the corridor
Cameras hanging on my knees
Spunk’s playing with the candle
And Loki won’t stop snoring
No he won’t come down

[meow meow solo]

He hears the Spunk a howling
Killing lids as he calls
Silver the all-time whiner
Has gone and lost his balls

Oh, he licks his ridiculous rival
Both lying in the sun
I think Spunk’s playing with the candle and
Loki won’t stop snoring
No, he won’t come down

No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down


Wild Cat

This video goes out to Brian who has the Wildlife Intrigued blog. Although Brian’s photography is exemplary, he has more than once mentioned having some fear and mistrust of felines. Spunk, the Wild Cat, will certainly confirm Brian’s suspicions. However, we cannot assume all cats are alike based on Spunk’s behavior.

As you can see from the photo below, Spunk helped me put the video together and approves the content in the video. He certifies the authenticity of all his wild catness depicted in the above video.

Wild Cat
Parody Lyrics: Timothy Price
Music by The Troggs

Wild cat
You stomped my heart flat
You make everything scary
Wild cat

Wild cat, you know I want you
To lie on my lap and purr
So come and curl up alright?
I want you

Wild cat
You stomped my heart flat
You make everything scary
Wild cat

Wild cat, why did you claw on me?
I know I petted your fur
Please don’t kill me alright?
You’re toothy

Wild cat
You stomped my heart flat
You make everything scary
Wild cat

Go on, go on, wild cat.
Oh don’t shake your tail. Oh please? Don’t shake your tail!
Oh! You shook your tail!

Big Balled Wizard

I made this video in 2017 with some really bloody awful vocals. I just recorded a new vocal track and updated the vocals so now they are just plain bloody awful.

Silver: “Ah! Oh my! You had to remind me!” Loki: “It was a sad time for both of us. I got blackballed or de-blackballed on the same sad day if you recall.

Sunset looking east

Sunset looking west

Big Balled Wizard

Music: Pete Townshend
Lyrics: Timothy Price
Vocals: AWB
Silver Kitty: Silver
Vet: Anonymous

When he was a young cat
He had big silver balls
He laid out on the counter
On display to one and all
Ain’t seen nothing like them
In any amusement hall

So guess what the vet did?
She cut off his silver balls.

He laid there like Adonis
He licked his silver things
Feeling proud and smug
He always kept them clean
His pride and intuition
He showed them off to all

So guess what the vet did?
She cut off his silver balls.

He was a big balled wizard
But with an evil twist
The big balled wizard he lost his catliness

Why did we have to do it
I don’t know
His balls they looked so good

He didn’t have no distractions
Didn’t care about buzzers and bells
Surgery lights were flashing
He thought he was in hell
Doesn’t want a replay
He never saw them fall

So guess what the vet did?
She cut off his silver balls.

So we had to take on the big bally king
We just took away his big ball crown from him

When he lays out on the table
He doesn’t get no rest
He’s cute when he’s all sprawled out
You can see he’s lost his best
His tail’s like a crazy weiner
He never saw them fall…

So guess what the vet did?
She cut off his silver balls.

MAD about Lovely Missile’s Garden

No comment… #9 by Anakreon Kanavakis.

Lovely Missile’s Garden

Inspired by No Comment… #9 by Anakreon Kanavakis above. Lyrics by Timothy Price. Music by The Beatles.

The above sketch by Anakreon Kanavakis brought back memories of growing up during the Cold War when Mr. Kanavakis drew this sketch. The doctrine of Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD) was all the rage for waging a Cold War. MAD is the theory of deterrence based on the idea that if enemies have equal abilities to annihilate each other, the equilibrium will deter said enemies from launching nuclear strikes against one or the other. The proliferation of bombs and missiles was a constant source of fear and concern during the Cold War which Mr. Kanavakis illustrates so well in his sketch.

Keep in mind that Athens, Greece, where Mr. Kanavakis worked for newspapers, is much closer to Russia than the United State. I will dare to guess that the fear of annihilation from the Soviet Union was more poignant in Greece than in the USA at that time, yet doomsday seemed to be always at hand everywhere.

When I saw Marina’s post with No Comment… #9 on her anmar blog, first thing this morning, I commented with the first few lines that came to mind. Soon after that I wrote the rest of the lyrics and turned the initial inspiration into a complete parody called Lovely Missile’s Garden (lyrics at the end of the post) to the music of Octopuses Garden by The Beatles. When inspiration strikes, I take action before the inspiration slips away. After writing the lyrics, I found an instrumental version of Octopuses Garden. Between various chores, I recorded the parody and sent it off to Marina for her approval and permission to use No Comment… #9.

I took this photo yesterday. It seems fitting for today’s theme.

On April 9, 1999, after President Clinton dropped bombs on the Serbs without informing Russia, Russian President Bois Yeltsin threatened to nuke Europe. We lived in Madrid, Spain at that time and saw Yeltsin on the news making his threats. It made me think of Nikita Khrushchev’s “We will bury you!” statement in 1956 (I was not born yet). We were worried about the whole affair, but all our Spanish friends were “Meh!” Some of our friends had done their military duty with Russian troops and said that most everything the Russians had was broken down and didn’t work. They didn’t think the Russian’s bombs were capable of exploding.

Lovely Missile’s Garden
Inspiration: Anakreon Kanavakis
Parody Lyrics: Timothy Price
Music: The Beatles

I like to be, watering bombs you see
In a lovely missile’s garden in the shade
I know I’d win, because I’ve been
Watering missile’s garden in the shade
I have no friends who want to be
Watering my missile’s garden with me

I like to be, watering bombs you see
In a lovely missile’s garden in the shade

It would be warm (Oh so warm), from the storm (From the storm)
A little blast-a-way and big shock wave (Boom! Boom!)
No resting our heads (Our heads), we’d all be dead (Oh no!)
A missile garden will make our grave (So sad!)
We would not sing or dance around
Annihilation would be profound

I like to be, watering bombs you see
In a lovely missile’s garden in the shade

Without a doubt (No doubt!) we’d be blown about (All about!)
Echoes fall beneath the blasting waves (So many waves!)
There’s no more Joy (Killed Joy), no girls or boys (No girls or boys?)
Knowing there’s nothing left but empty space (So much space).
No happiness for you and me
No one left to tell us what to do

I like to be, watering bombs you see
In a lovely missile’s garden in the shade

I like to be, watering bombs you see
In a lovely missile’s garden in the shade