48 Bucks

As you might have heard, there are a lot of fires burning in New Mexico right now. The air was very smokey today, therefore, I mostly stayed inside and recorded a parody I wrote a while back after I bought new $48 guitar out of curiosity. The guitar turned out to be a lot better quality than one would expect for $48.

If you are wondering why New Mexico is burning. Warm temperatures and low humidity are the major factors. New Mexico and most of the western states have had very little precipitation this year.

Jupiter moved to one o’clock above Venus this morning.

48 Bucks
By Timothy Price
To Sixteen Tons by Tennesse Ernie Ford

I got a cheap guitar still made out of wood
It came with all six strings just like it should?
I paid 48 bucks I give you no bone
The neck is straight let’s check out the tone

You pay 48 bucks and what do you get?
A gig bag, Allen wrench, and a straight neck
The craftsmanship’s sketchy little rough on the wood
But it plays pretty well and it sounds pretty good

Got an email one mornin’ cheap guitars so fine
I checked out the website, it’s one of a kind
Guitars so cheap you wonder how they will do
Curiosity got to me, put in an order for two

You pay 48 bucks and what do you get?
A gig bag, Allen wrench, and a straight neck
The craftsmanship’s sketchy little rough on the wood
But it plays pretty well and it sounds really good

Been playing every morning come sunshine or rain
Tune it up strum it and it still sounds the same
Playin’ chords and scales and arpeggios
How my fingers play them God only knows

You pay 48 bucks and what do you get?
A gig bag, Allen wrench, and a straight neck
The craftsmanship’s sketchy little rough on the wood
But it plays pretty well and it sounds really good

Now you hear me a playin’ can you lend me your ears
This cheap guitar is better than beer
My fingers feel like lead on these strings of steel
The guitar’s not a bad 48-dollar deal.

You pay 48 bucks and what do you get?
A gig bag, Allen wrench, and a straight neck
The craftsmanship’s sketchy little rough on the wood
But it plays pretty well and it sounds really good

No Pants

JYP wrote the parody lyrics and sings on No Pants inspired by working at home. I got the music for her and mixed her vocals with the music. I love JYP’s voice in her parody. She does a fantastic job. I put the video together staring Princess Jasmine Barbie® playing JYP. Princess Jasmine Barbie® was very excited to play the part knowing that JYP is a big fan. If you missed our earlier collaboration, Post COVID World, I posted last Monday, JYP sings Princess Jasmine’s part in the parody.

No Pants
parody lyrics by JYP

Doing all my work at my place
Cause I can’t go to the office space
So I work from bed
Yeah, I work from bed
I’m on conference calls all-day
Laptop camera pointed at my face
But I’m stuck at home
And I’m all alone, so

No pants
When you’ll see my face and not my body
No, no chance
That I’m going to bother doing laundry
Can’t go
Coronavirus has been stoppin’
All plans, so I’m wearin’
No pants
No pants

I can’t exercise in quarantine
Been puttin’ on the COVID-15
Now my belt won’t close
Can’t go buy new clothes, so

No pants
When you’ll see my face and not my body
No, no chance
that I’m going to bother doing laundry
I know
Coronavirus has been stoppin’
All plans, so I’m wearin’
No pants

Buttoned up to my collarbone
Looking so professional
it’s what I wear when I work from home
Work from home, work from home
Buttoned up to my collarbone
Just don’t ask what’s down below

No pants
When you’ll see my face and not my body
No pants
Cause what’s the point of doing laundry
I know
Coronavirus has been stoppin’
All plans, so I’m wearin’
When you’ll see my face and not my body
No pants
Cause what’s the point of doing laundry
I know
Coronavirus has been stoppin’
All plans, so I’m wearin’
No pants
No pants
No pants

More wild morning skies

Post COVID World

JYP at Jewish Young Professional and I have been collaborating on parodies and original songs. JYP writes excellent lyrics. I come up with the music for the parodies and she sends me her vocals and I mix her vocals with the music. We both sing in Post COVID World. I have written and recorded music for her original, non-parody lyrics. My vocals are on those recordings, but I haven’t posted our originals because I’ve been waiting to see if JYP is going to get time to add her vocals to the original songs. She can’t simply go into a studio and record vocals like I do. Our collaborative process is understandably a little slow sometimes.

A crescent moon rose below Venus and Mars this morning. They were beautiful through the thin layer of clouds long before dawn. The dawn sky was magnificent this morning.

End Of Year PSA

With all the hoopla about Omicron, we must not forget about other diseases that run amok like Space Herpes (you can learn more about space herpes at https://news.sky.com/story/nasa-issues-space-herpes-warning-as-virus-reactivates-in-astronauts-11669335). I brought Space Herpes to the attention of OC&NE readers in March of 2020. While the video I put together in 2020 was decent, the parody, which I originally recorded in 2018, was really bloody awful. I completely redid the music and recorded new vocals between a dentist appointment at dawn and shopping for ingredients for New Year’s black-eyed peas in the afternoon. The parody is now a much better PSA. Lyrics are at the end of the post.

1st photo: Dawn from the dentist’s office. 2nd photo: Moon peeking through the clouds at the dentist’s office. 3rd photo: Sunrise through the bedroom window by Laurie.

Sasha showing us her belly. I don’t think your allergies are space herpes, Sasha.

Sunset from the grocery store parking lot. I thought I was going to miss sunset tonight, but the painter made sure we got a good showing from the store. She didn’t want to disappoint Marina. Marina doesn’t need withdrawals from her daily OD on New Mexico’s Naturaleza at the end of the year.

Space Herpes
Music: Deep Purple
Lyrics: Timothy Price

Well we lip-locked with the Vals on Venus
We were making out a lot on Mars
We’re smooching with the groovy aliens
Kissed across the universe afar

We messed around with Borealis
We got space herpes from the stars

Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes

Remember when we kissed the moon rocks
Swinging around the Milky Way
We found Uranus was a rude shock
Pluto doesn’t see the light of day

We’re messin’ round in the solar system
And got space herpes along the way

Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes

The Fireball we drank was burning
And now we have a new routine
Yeah yeah yeah yeah Marline said
They can kiss, but they cannot sing

We’re messin’ round in the solar system
Swinging around the Milky Way
We messed around with Borealis
Got space herpes every day

Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes

Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes

Freaky Friday! Sweet Child Of The Earth Of Mine

Some people will find this parody really creepy. It will certainly bug the hell out of other people. While a few people might even like the photos and footage of children of the earth, also known as Jerusalem Crickets and Potato Bugs. However you react, you might get a laugh out of me trying to fit “sweet child of the earth of mine” into the space of “sweet child o mine”. The lyrics are at the end of the post.

I was inspired to write the lyrics to this parody in February 2019 when I came across a Child of the Earth out trying to warm itself in the cold winter sun. I’ve worked on and off recording it for the past two and a half years. I got it to what Laurie thinks is a multi-dimensionally bloody awful state about 4 months ago. I was hoping to see a lot of Children of the Earth this summer to get more photos and footage of them, but, alas, no such luck. I borrowed footage from Jerusalem Crickets Only Date Drummers Deep Look, This Potato Bug Eats Everything! (Documentary), Killer Potato Bug Attack, and 9609 New Mexico Child Of The Earth (Another Journey in MyZahs life).

As a consolation prize, below are photos of the pTerodactyl doing a pterodactyl version of a hop, skip, and a jump, and cows in the cornfield.

Sweet Child Of The Earth Of Mine
Parody Lyrics by Timothy Price

It made me sad when I saw its face
Walking along in that lonely place
With a morning light so cold
Sun barely lit the sky

It seemed to shiver and it couldn’t run
trying to warm in that winter sun
And if it stayed too long
It would surely die

Oh-oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine

Its eyes were fixed, perfectly still
All-round in the darkest brown
Couldn’t seem to show the pain
Of that cold hard ground

Vulnerable exposed in an unsafe place
Without a place to hide
Try to save it from the freezing pain
Or simply pass it by?

Oh-oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine

Ooooooh! Oh-oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine

Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine

Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?

Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?

Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?

Where did it go now?
Where did it go?

Where, where did it go now?

Where’d it go?
Where-ere-ere-where did it go now?

Where did it go now?

Where-ere-ere-ere-ere where did it go now?

Where did it go now?

Ooh oh oh where did it go now?

Where did it go?
Where did it go?

Whoa whoa whoa

Chupacabra

This is literally a bloody awful music video. Gwendolyn and Glenda have been doing great imitations of Chupacabra. I had to make a parody music for for them with them doing their imitations. This video will definitely give Brian nightmares.

Chupacabra
Lyrics: Timothy Price
Music: John Lennon

Chupacabra’s gonna to get you
He’s going to grab you by the head
He’s going to rip your throat out Mr.
He’ll suck your blood until you’re dead
Why in the hell do you want to park
And walk in the bosque after dark
What do you think you’re trying to prove
Chupacabra he’ll get to you

Chupacabra’s going to get you
He’s going to grab you by the face
Gonna suck all your blood out sister
Take you from the human race
You know you’re never going to be
Saved by a fool not me
Who the hell do you think I am
A Superman
Or Sam I Am

Beware You’ll all die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Chupa he’s the one
Bleeding everyone just for fun

Chupacabra’s gonna to get you
Gonna knock you off your feet
He’ll pull you down asunder
Like everyone he meets
You should not be standing there
You will surely meet disappear
And why it’s not so very clear
That Chupa’s everywhere
He kills and takes his share

Beware You’ll all die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Chupa he’s the one
Bleeding everyone yes everyone
Yeah yeah, alright, uh huh, ah

Beware You’ll all die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Beware You’ll all die young

Beware You’ll all die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Beware You’ll ll die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Beware You’ll all die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood
Beware You’ll ll die young
From the wounds and the scars and the blood

Frumpy Man

Frumpy Man
Music: Emerson, Lake and Palmer
Lyrics: Timothy Price

He had black mittens
And lawn chairs by the shore
All made of rattan
In red crushed velour

Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was
Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was

White face, skin weathered
A few hairs on his head
Drove an AMC Pacer
In autumn red

Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was
Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was

He liked to roast smores
On a candle while he sang
No honor, no glory
No women what a shame

Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was
Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was

With a Bud Light beside him
He brooded as he sighed
A gutter-ball had cursed him
Into last place, he did slide

Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was
Ooooh, what a frumpy man he was

Purple Stain

Purple Stain

As with most parodies, Purple Stain started out to be humorous. However, the lyrics took a turn toward the more serious aspects of life. Purple Stain was inspired by Holly at House of Heart in the Fall of 2020 when we were commenting back and forth on images and poetry. I thought for a long time how do a video to go with the song. I finally worked it out.

Many of us don’t fit “Normal” as defined by Miriam Webster*:

  1. Conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern : characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine.
  2. According with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, procedure, or principle.
  3. Approximating the statistical average or norm.
  4. Generally free from physical or mental impairment or dysfunction : exhibiting or marked by healthy or sound functioning.
  5. Not exhibiting defect or irregularity.
  6. Within a range considered safe, healthy, or optimal.

For we who have fallen outside almost all of the above definitions of “normal” at one time or another throughout our lifetimes for various reasons that are often outside of our control, we have dealt with “normal” people who do not understand the issues surrounding the problems we have had, problems we have to deal with continually, and the problem of being different and trying to fit into a “normal” world.

Purple Stain
By Timothy Price
Inspired by Holly Rene Hunter

Cleverly we put off until tomorrow
Wearily the things that make us go insane
Fondly running into the waves and splashing
Fondly raising our glasses, waking with a purple stain

Purple stain, Purple stain
Are we insane? So insane
Purple rain, Purple stain

So here we are scrubbing and washing out that purple stain.

Forever longing wanting to be like others
Our sensitivities make us like the strangest friends
Unfortunately we feel our sensibilities are plundered
Again the same our glasses raised as we pretend

Purple stain, Purple stain
Are we insane? So insane
Purple stain, Purple stain

Funny how we see, we see how things are changing purple stain

You and I we need to live as two
Look! Something new
That time we had to greet her
She stared at us like we’re insane
I thought you were going to lose it
As it was all about it was all about our purple stain

Purple stain, Purple stain
Are we insane? So insane

Yeah!

Let’s get us out of here purple oh the pain
Walking hand in hand

We only want, we only want our sanity

We only want our sanity

Storm clouds built up in the early afternoon, with a constant rumble of thunder as the clouds rolled in. I took the above photo at 1:30 pm and the temperature was 81ºF (27.2ºC). Thirty minutes later the clouds pelted us with hail and heavy rain that lasted for thirty minutes or so. The temperature fell to 55ºF (12.7ºC) in a matter of minutes. Needless to say, our poor peonies got beaten up by the hail.

*https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/normal