Just when we thought it was safe to go back to church, we had our intelligence insulted by screens in the “traditional” service this morning. Call me a snob, but I don’t think I need to be treated like a theological special ed case when I go to church. I can plainly see and hear that the choir is singing the anthem. When the pastor says “bow your heads” 99.99999% of the time a prayer will follow. I don’t need a set of screens telling me it’s “prayer time!”   I don’t know what compels churches to treat adherents like kindergarteners, but I find it offensive and I won’t be treated as such.

About ten years ago, I tried to go along the whole “contemporary” service thing. I even played in a Praise Band for awhile. However, it didn’t take long before I couldn’t deal with the vacuous words and idiotic gestures that went with praise songs — Imagine singing “Our God is an awesome God… He reigns from Heaven above…” with a bunch of teenagers wiggling their fingers and moving their hands up and down gesturing rain.

The choir performed a fabulous rendition of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” this morning, the whole time the screens blaring “Chancel Choir: Battle Hymn of the Republic” The problem with screens is that even if you try to ignore them, they are in your peripheral vision, which makes them even more annoying.

I don’t understand why people want to take a beautiful sanctuary with stained glass windows all-round and a grand pipe organ, and make it ugly with screens — I guess H.L. Menken’s  “Libido for the Ugly” is universal.