This video goes out to Brian who has the Wildlife Intrigued blog. Although Brian’s photography is exemplary, he has more than once mentioned having some fear and mistrust of felines. Spunk, the Wild Cat, will certainly confirm Brian’s suspicions. However, we cannot assume all cats are alike based on Spunk’s behavior.
As you can see from the photo below, Spunk helped me put the video together and approves the content in the video. He certifies the authenticity of all his wild catness depicted in the above video.
Wild Cat Parody Lyrics: Timothy Price Music by The Troggs
Wild cat You stomped my heart flat You make everything scary Wild cat
Wild cat, you know I want you To lie on my lap and purr So come and curl up alright? I want you
Wild cat You stomped my heart flat You make everything scary Wild cat
Wild cat, why did you claw on me? I know I petted your fur Please don’t kill me alright? You’re toothy
Wild cat You stomped my heart flat You make everything scary Wild cat
Go on, go on, wild cat. Oh don’t shake your tail. Oh please? Don’t shake your tail! Oh! You shook your tail!
I made this video in 2017 with some really bloody awful vocals. I just recorded a new vocal track and updated the vocals so now they are just plain bloody awful.
Silver: “Ah! Oh my! You had to remind me!” Loki: “It was a sad time for both of us. I got blackballed or de-blackballed on the same sad day if you recall.
When he was a young cat He had big silver balls He laid out on the counter On display to one and all Ain’t seen nothing like them In any amusement hall
So guess what the vet did? She cut off his silver balls.
He laid there like Adonis He licked his silver things Feeling proud and smug He always kept them clean His pride and intuition He showed them off to all
So guess what the vet did? She cut off his silver balls.
He was a big balled wizard But with an evil twist The big balled wizard he lost his catliness
Why did we have to do it I don’t know His balls they looked so good
He didn’t have no distractions Didn’t care about buzzers and bells Surgery lights were flashing He thought he was in hell Doesn’t want a replay He never saw them fall
So guess what the vet did? She cut off his silver balls.
So we had to take on the big bally king We just took away his big ball crown from him
When he lays out on the table He doesn’t get no rest He’s cute when he’s all sprawled out You can see he’s lost his best His tail’s like a crazy weiner He never saw them fall…
So guess what the vet did? She cut off his silver balls.
Inspired by No Comment… #9 by Anakreon Kanavakis above. Lyrics by Timothy Price. Music by The Beatles.
The above sketch by Anakreon Kanavakis brought back memories of growing up during the Cold War when Mr. Kanavakis drew this sketch. The doctrine of Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD) was all the rage for waging a Cold War. MAD is the theory of deterrence based on the idea that if enemies have equal abilities to annihilate each other, the equilibrium will deter said enemies from launching nuclear strikes against one or the other. The proliferation of bombs and missiles was a constant source of fear and concern during the Cold War which Mr. Kanavakis illustrates so well in his sketch.
Keep in mind that Athens, Greece, where Mr. Kanavakis worked for newspapers, is much closer to Russia than the United State. I will dare to guess that the fear of annihilation from the Soviet Union was more poignant in Greece than in the USA at that time, yet doomsday seemed to be always at hand everywhere.
When I saw Marina’s post with No Comment… #9 on her anmar blog, first thing this morning, I commented with the first few lines that came to mind. Soon after that I wrote the rest of the lyrics and turned the initial inspiration into a complete parody called Lovely Missile’s Garden (lyrics at the end of the post) to the music of Octopuses Garden by The Beatles. When inspiration strikes, I take action before the inspiration slips away. After writing the lyrics, I found an instrumental version of Octopuses Garden. Between various chores, I recorded the parody and sent it off to Marina for her approval and permission to use No Comment… #9.
I took this photo yesterday. It seems fitting for today’s theme.
On April 9, 1999, after President Clinton dropped bombs on the Serbs without informing Russia, Russian President Bois Yeltsin threatened to nuke Europe. We lived in Madrid, Spain at that time and saw Yeltsin on the news making his threats. It made me think of Nikita Khrushchev’s “We will bury you!” statement in 1956 (I was not born yet). We were worried about the whole affair, but all our Spanish friends were “Meh!” Some of our friends had done their military duty with Russian troops and said that most everything the Russians had was broken down and didn’t work. They didn’t think the Russian’s bombs were capable of exploding.
I like to be, watering bombs you see In a lovely missile’s garden in the shade I know I’d win, because I’ve been Watering missile’s garden in the shade I have no friends who want to be Watering my missile’s garden with me
I like to be, watering bombs you see In a lovely missile’s garden in the shade
It would be warm (Oh so warm), from the storm (From the storm) A little blast-a-way and big shock wave (Boom! Boom!) No resting our heads (Our heads), we’d all be dead (Oh no!) A missile garden will make our grave (So sad!) We would not sing or dance around Annihilation would be profound
I like to be, watering bombs you see In a lovely missile’s garden in the shade
Without a doubt (No doubt!) we’d be blown about (All about!) Echoes fall beneath the blasting waves (So many waves!) There’s no more Joy (Killed Joy), no girls or boys (No girls or boys?) Knowing there’s nothing left but empty space (So much space). No happiness for you and me No one left to tell us what to do
I like to be, watering bombs you see In a lovely missile’s garden in the shade
I like to be, watering bombs you see In a lovely missile’s garden in the shade
A food truck called Mi Taco Su Taco parked in front of our new office this morning. I thought it might be a regular thing. Being Tuesday and having a Taco Truck in front of the office, I texted Bruce to let him know there was a Taco Truck out front if he wanted to come into the office for “Taco Tuesday!” He came in and went out and got in line to discover that the food truck was there for a special occasion for the Humana insurance group. Bruce had to wait until all of “Humanaty” got their tacos so Mi Taco Su Taco could account for all the tacos Humana’s staff had eaten. Then Bruce was able to get some of the leftover tacos. He brought me a couple of leftover tacos. They weren’t bad after I picked all the cilantro out them. “¡No me gusta cilantro¡”
Seeing the food truck reminded me of a parody I wrote and recorded back in 2017 called “Brewpubs And Food Trucks” to Strawberry Alarm Clock’s Incense and Peppermints that I never posted. The parody was inspired by the boom of brewpubs in Albuquerque at that time and all the food trucks that parked by the brewpubs. Now that brewpubs are open again, I see a lot of the food trucks outside the brewpubs. The food trucks offer a good service for people to get food to go with their beer and wine without having to go into a building.
I thought about redoing the vocals, but I recorded it long before I started using PreSonus Studio One. I used MixPad in 2017, and now the latest version of MixPad can’t open the old files. Therefore, you can listen to the bloody awful original version or choose to skip it.
The song really illustrates the reason we moved out of downtown. Things were not good in 2017. “ART” in the song is “Albuquerque Rapid Transit” a total public transit boondoggle rammed down Burqueños’ throats that interrupted businesses and ruined Central Ave, (Old Route 66) from the westside of Albuquerque to “Nobhill” just east of the University of New Mexico. Downtown only got worse and continues its downhill slide. You can follow along with the Lyrics that can be found after the kitty photos and comments.
ART sense, nonsense, spare me a dime Drama queens, silly things, undefinable crime Fashion drinkers, homeless drunks, boggle your mind Brewpubs, food trucks, signs of the time
Who cares for things we do If there’s little for me and nothing for you
Brewpubs, food trucks, gurgling sound Turn off, tune out, we need to look around Look at the wealth, look at the wealth, yeah, yeah Look at the wealth, look at the wealth, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Our polls have divided our world in two Thrown us off to the side, middle finger screw you Politicians choke their chickens, nothing is new A house full of lunatics with a bad point-of-view
Who cares for things we do If there’s little for me and nothing for you
ART sense, nonsense, spare me a dime Drama queens, silly things, undefinable crime Fashion drinkers, homeless drunks, boggle your mind Brewpubs, food trucks, signs of the time
Who cares for things we do If there’s little for me and nothing for you
Kitten Party Lyrics by Timothy Price, Music by Rick Nelson
Since I worked for 10.5 hours moving stuff, building shelves and desks, and then another hour testing and troubleshooting the new VPN, I’m posting another parody. Lyrics are below the photo of a kitten party.
The kittens partying with Sasha.
Kitten Party
Lyrics by Timothy Price
Music by Rick Nelson
I went to a Kitten party to see my old cool cats
A chance to purr, meow and spray and chase some rats
When I got to the kitten party the black cats looked the same
Jumping and bouncing all around they were really quite insane
The kittens are uptight now, they’re rolling all around
You see, the old cats they growl and hiss, so the kittens want a kiss
Tomcats came from miles around, the kittens were in heat
Oh no there’s a bobcat, who we don’t want to meet
The kittens ran all over, pouncing on their treats
Taxidermied mice with silly eyes looking like mousie freaks
The kittens are uptight now, they’re energy abounds
You see, the old cats want pay to play because the kittens they are strays
Kittens-meow-meow-meow, Kittens-meow-meow-meow
The kittens have some odd times, but they don’t really care
They attack one another, with tactics that seem unfair
Tried making up a kitty haiku, seven, five, and three
They knocked the syllables out like Spunk, quite hilariously
The kittens are uptight now, they’re jumping up and down
You see, the old cats they don’t want to see because the kittens won’t let them be
Someone opened up the side door and in stepped Bucky cat
Followed by Garfield, Odie, Satchel Pooch, and a great big spat!
If you’re going to a kitten party, you will get all scratched up
You think you’ll make it out alive, all I have to say is good luck
The kittens are uptight now, they pounce in one bound
You see, the old cats all they do is frown, and slap the kittens around
After a long week starting to moving into our new office building, WordPress giving all kinds of trouble again, and getting my second vaccine against covid cooties this morning, I’m feeling like how this poor frost-bitten tulip looks.
Bloody Binding Queen
Timothy Price. Music by Abba
I can’t think of anything better for a Friday night at the end of a long week than a bloody awful parody about our Bloody Binding Queen. At the end of last month, Erma was compiling thousands of pages of final reports for facility condition assessments, punching and assembling them into a whole bunch of binders. She kept getting paper cuts and used up all the bandaids we had in the office. I told her she was a “Bloody Binding Queen!” The light went on. After I got home that night, I found the music for “Dancing Queen” by Abba, wrote the parody lyrics (see the lyrics at the end of the post), learned the song, recorded the parody, and sent it to Erma. She was pleased because that was the first song ever done for her.
Since we have had hard frosts the last few nights our tulips are looking like bloody binding queens all frost-bitten and shriveled up. I finally got the IT Department’s office in order, and I got various cuts and bled in the process. We also got Internet, a new alarm system and new tile in the kitchen, copier room and workroom in the new building. So we’ve made a lot of progress.
Looking into the IT office from the door to the office.
Another sad tulip
Bruce’s desk
A Vulture heard there was a bloody binding queen and started circling overhead.
My desk
Dale’s Peach Tree is blooming
Dede’s desk
Daddy owl watching
Looking out into the open work area where multiple workstations will go from my desk.
Mama Owl peeking
Bloody Binding Queen Lyrics by Timothy Price Music by ABBA
Ooh, you can bind, in the grind Compiling the papers you find Ooh, see the girl, with the punch machine Bleeding the binding queen
Friday night and it’s time to go Look at the papers not that low Where they are piled high in the binders rings Although a vegan might go to a Burger King
Look at the clock and you sigh It’s getting old paper piled high With a final push, you can meet the deadline You’re in the mood to dance But there’s not a chance
You’re a binding queen A paper cut from page seventeen Bloody binding queen Hear the grind of pages shredding Oh, crap
You can bind, in the grind Compiling the pages you find Ooh, see the girl, with the punch machine Bleeding the binding queen
You’re a wheezer, from paper spawn The cuts are burning the bleeding goes on Looking for another plaster anyone will do You’re in the mood to dance
Look at the clock and you sigh It’s getting old paper piled high With a final push, you can meet the deadline You’re in the mood to dance But there’s not a chance
You’re a binding queen A paper cut from page seventeen Bloody binding queen Hear the grind of pages shredding Oh, crap
You can bind, in the grind Compiling the pages you find Ooh, see the girl, with the punch machine Bleeding the binding queen
One of the parodies I never published is called The Sound of Coffee Grinding based on The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkle. I don’t remember what inspired the parody. I was obviously grinding coffee, which I do every day. Twisted minds never rest and the strangest ideas for parodies are always presenting themselves.
While writing the lyrics I imagined a hyper-version of the song like when you are wound up on coffee. The first recording I did was a hyper arrangement loosely based on the original music. Since the idea for the parody was a bit out there, to begin with, the hyper version ended up being a bit echoey.
I tried singing my parody lyrics to the traditional music for The Sound of Silence. It was really bloody awful. I asked Teagan at Teagan’s Books if she wanted to take a stab at singing The Sound of Coffee Grinding. I sent her the music and she did a wonderful take on the traditional version of the music. Teagan imaged that I make a back and forth duet out of it, but my vocals didn’t really work, and far as I am concerned my voice detracts from Teagan’s beautiful, sultry voice.
She didn’t want to attempt the hyper version. I can’t blame her. There is only so much of a twisted mind’s parody a sane person is willing to tackle.
I’ve included both versions below. The first is the traditional version with Teagan’s Vocals. The second is the hyper version with my vocals.
The Sound of Coffee Grinding (Traditional)
Parody Lyrics by Timothy Price. Vocals by Teagan Riordain Geneviene. Music by Simon & Garfunkle.
The Sound of Coffee Grinding (Hyper)
Parody Lyrics by Timothy Price. Vocals by Timothy Price. Arrangement by Timothy Price. Guitars, Bass, Percussion by Timothy Price. Original music by Simon & Garfunkle.
It took Spunk only about *three days to return to his “catankerous” self and his normal routine of pacing around the house at all hours and killing his tails. Although, instead of placing his tails on the counter to protective all of us, he is taking them to the couch where he is sleeping to protect himself. After his three-week ordeal in a parallel cataverse, or kitty purgatory if you like, he feels like he needs to keep all the kitty tail protection for himself.
To celebrate Spunk’s Zero to Spunk in 3D*, I’m posting a parody of Candy by Iggy Pop with Kate Pierson called Kitty.
Kitty
by Teagan Riordain Geneviene and Timothy Price with Suzette Presti. Music by Iggy Pop.
Teagan Riordain Geneviene of Teagan’s Books came up with the idea of making the parody of Candy. She sent me the idea for the parody with the lyrics for Kitty’s part (Kate Pierson’s part) and the duet with Iggy and Kate at the end. Teagan asked me to write lyrics for Iggy’s part in the beginning of the song. I had not heard Candy before, so I looked it up, listened to it, and wrote the intro lyrics based on Teagan’s prompts. I processed the music and then learned Iggy’s parts the best I could. It turned out to be a difficult song, but I finally got it to work. I recorded my part of the parody and sent the music file to Teagan. Teagan has a beautiful voice, however, she discovered that Kate’s part was out of her range, and with all the other stuff she had on her plate, she could not work in the time to record Kitty’s part and get it to her liking.
I understood completely. However, Teagan’s idea for the parody was brilliant, our lyrics were excellent, and I didn’t want to let a really good parody go to waste. Suzette Presti, who is a professional singer, was gracious enough to take up the challenge of singing Kitty’s part. I sent her a recording with the music and my vocals, she recorded Kitty’s parts and sent me her recording. I mixed her vocals and my vocals with the music and voilà! Like a musical Frankenstein, Teagan’s wonderful idea for a parody came to life. Enjoy!
I made this parody back in 2017. Inchcock did a post recently on memories about when he was in the hospital after he had a stroke. The post made me think of all the getting out and walking about Nottingham Inchcock did before and after his stroke, up until he was put in home jail where he’s been locked up in solitary confinement for months due to the COVID cooties. Of course, being placed in solitary confinement with much less access to medical services increases his risk greatly, but good old Inchcock takes his pain in stride and presses on entertaining us with the daily details of his dealings with life in solitary confinement.
A Day in the Life of Inchcock Music by the Beatles Lyrics by Timothy Price
Great pain, high spirits today oh boy
A lucky man standing by the Methodist Church
I think I should be rather sad
But I just had to laugh
I took the photograph
Out the window, mind you houses and cars
Off to Sherringham for shots, so quick, times have changed
Nicole the nurse she just stood and stared
Trying to stop my blood
Was this really it
Was I off to see the Lord
A Whoopsiedangleplop today oh boy
The phone went off a dingling and a dangling
T’was the nurse bitching about my ambling
‘You’re not in your Flat?’
And you don’t have the book
I’d love to turn you Down
Got back, had a Weeee!
Refreshed, and accident-Free!
Got back out front and had a cup
Doorbell rang and I noticed it was late
It was the Nurse she had no hat
Up the lift in seconds flat
She had a firm, tight end that was smokin’ hot
She poked me in the tummy and I came out of my dream…
Great pain, high spirits today oh boy
Four thousand holes poked in me tummy there were
Although the holes where rather small
I couldn’t count the lot
We still don’t know how many holes it takes to fill old Inchcock
Off Center & Not Even 