Bloody Binding Queen

After a long week starting to moving into our new office building, WordPress giving all kinds of trouble again, and getting my second vaccine against covid cooties this morning, I’m feeling like how this poor frost-bitten tulip looks.

Bloody Binding Queen Lyrics by Timothy Price. Music by Abba

I can’t think of anything better for a Friday night at the end of a long week than a bloody awful parody about our Bloody Binding Queen. At the end of last month, Erma was compiling thousands of pages of final reports for facility condition assessments, punching and assembling them into a whole bunch of binders. She kept getting paper cuts and used up all the bandaids we had in the office. I told her she was a “Bloody Binding Queen!” The light went on. After I got home that night, I found the music for “Dancing Queen” by Abba, wrote the parody lyrics (see the lyrics at the end of the post), learned the song, recorded the parody, and sent it to Erma. She was pleased because that was the first song ever done for her.

Since we have had hard frosts the last few nights our tulips are looking like bloody binding queens all frost-bitten and shriveled up. I finally got the IT Department’s office in order, and I got various cuts and bled in the process. We also got Internet, a new alarm system and new tile in the kitchen, copier room and workroom in the new building. So we’ve made a lot of progress.

Looking into the IT office from the door to the office.

Another sad tulip

Bruce’s desk

A Vulture heard there was a bloody binding queen and started circling overhead.

My desk

Dale’s Peach Tree is blooming

Dede’s desk

Daddy owl watching

Looking out into the open work area where multiple workstations will go from my desk.

Mama Owl peeking

Bloody Binding Queen
Lyrics by Timothy Price
Music by ABBA

Ooh, you can bind, in the grind
Compiling the papers you find
Ooh, see the girl, with the punch machine
Bleeding the binding queen

Friday night and it’s time to go
Look at the papers not that low
Where they are piled high in the binders rings
Although a vegan might go to a Burger King

Look at the clock and you sigh
It’s getting old paper piled high
With a final push, you can meet the deadline
You’re in the mood to dance
But there’s not a chance

You’re a binding queen
A paper cut from page seventeen
Bloody binding queen
Hear the grind of pages shredding
Oh, crap

You can bind, in the grind
Compiling the pages you find
Ooh, see the girl, with the punch machine
Bleeding the binding queen

You’re a wheezer, from paper spawn
The cuts are burning the bleeding goes on
Looking for another plaster anyone will do
You’re in the mood to dance

Look at the clock and you sigh
It’s getting old paper piled high
With a final push, you can meet the deadline
You’re in the mood to dance
But there’s not a chance

You’re a binding queen
A paper cut from page seventeen
Bloody binding queen
Hear the grind of pages shredding
Oh, crap

You can bind, in the grind
Compiling the pages you find
Ooh, see the girl, with the punch machine
Bleeding the binding queen

Bleeding the binding queen

55 thoughts on “Bloody Binding Queen

  1. Oooh! Love to see my tree in flower! Nice job on the office space (lotta work, eh?) And you kill me with the parody…

  2. LOL! Another fantastic parody Tim! I can relate to the paper cuts and the sighing while looking at the clock! Yes, I have done my share of binding instructional literature!!! 🤣😏

  3. The new office seems to be a comfortable place (to work). And thanks for the musical intermezzo.

  4. And it’s all worthwhile, blood et all, especially while listening to the Bloody Binding Queen! Daddy Owl agrees and as for the vulture… I believe it’s dancing to the song!!!! Great work and images, my friend! Now rest. It’s the weekend! 😉

  5. Things are happening out there! I love Bloody Binding Queen! That’s a knock out parody. Even Mana Owl has to sneak a peak. Your office is sublime, don’t forget to restock the bandaids.

  6. We can certainly relate to the “oh crap they meant it when they said the second jab has the worst effects”. Sher did much better than I did. Love Abba. love “Dancing Queen” and your parody is airwave worthy for sure.

    • Thanks, Maj & Sher. So far not effects from the second shot. My arm isn’t sore like the first shot. I just finished working 10.5 hours moving stuff and building shelves and desks at the new office.

  7. LOL Your song is too funny, Tim. Sorry about those paper cuts …. those hurt!! I also really like your desk with two windows you can look out of. NICE!! Love how your office is getting updated. Must feel nice. As for the tulips ….. oh boy I pray mine don’t have the same fate. Temps have fallen here ….. crossing my fingers. Have a great weekend!!! xo

    • Thanks, Amy Rose. We had frost this morning and will probably get more tonight. I’m happy you enjoyed the song.

  8. Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch! Who’d have thought office work so hazardous? I remember it was! My daughter, a teacher, reminded me yesterday of those weapons also known as paper cutters. Cringe. Thankfully you have the wise owls to offer wisdom at the end a hard day’s night.

  9. That’s a great parody you wrote for Erma, Tim! Looks like your new office is coming long nicely.

    Any sign of owlets yet, or is Mama Owl still sitting on eggs?

  10. I thinks you are a great song writer Timothy 🙂
    Moving in and out is not fun…. but once installed you can enjoy your new office.
    Send my greetings to the owl family 😉

  11. Hi Tim, WP is in the process of retiring the classic editor in favor of the block editor as well as in a wholesale redesign of the dashboard according to the official company line. You can currently retrieve the classic editor and the WP-admin dashboard layout by going here:

    https://wordpress.com/me/account

    These are the instructions:

    Once you are there look for the setting “Show advanced dashboard pages” and turn it on. This will replace your standard dashboard pages with more advanced wp-admin equivalents when possible. For example this will show you the wp-admin version of the All Posts page, and you will find the classic editor option on that page when you visit. Note that you are not able to visit wp-admin pages unless you turn on the “Show advanced dashboard pages” option in your account preferences.

    At some point, WP plans to convert everything to the block editor and the new dashboard layout. When? Nobody knows. I suppose it is so no one starts a gazillion new posts using the classic editor, then finish using the block editor, which makes the process easier. WP has a serious rebellion on the support forum and they are not intent on listening to their users. A lot of their support volunteers have disappeared from the forums, leaving it to paid staff to answer support questions. Timethief, a longtime support volunteer hates the block editor. She’s been with WP since 2004, long as I have. She said block editor may be the deal breaker for her. But, Timethief has said she would leave blogging over the last 3-4-5 years. I teased her about that, but the block editor may do that for her.

    I am currently building a photography business website on another platform. They use a block editor, but their block editor is much more intuitive than the WP version. They might have a blog option but I’m not sure on that yet.

  12. You made me laugh with your parody, thank you for that! And whatever the mood, the word to do, the color and shape of the tulips, your photos stay great! (I am happy to see the owl family too)

    • Thanks, Flo. I’m happy you got a laugh out of the parody. We had more frost this morning and will probably get frost tonight, also.

  13. Your office is looking real good! Congrats!
    Binding Queen rocks… lololol!
    You are so fab at these parodies! It’s a definite talent.
    Oooo…. did you take a pic of Dale’s tree abloom? How about Marina’s tree?
    I need pics of their trees in bloom.

    … lololol from page 17….

    What other parodies are you up to?

    • Hi Resa. Yes, I have photos of Dale’s tree in bloom. Marina’s tree hasn’t bloomed yet, but I’m keeping my eye on it. I have a few more parodies I’ll post at some point. I haven’t had time with moving the office to work on music, plus my hands are totally trashed from all the work. I put in 70 hours last week.

      • The work will calm down. Ouch on the hands!
        Musicians are very fussy about their hands, and it’s not a mystery why. It’s just like singers protecting their voices.
        Love the shot you sent of Dale’s Peach tree in bloom!!!!

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