Mascherina

Did you wear your Mascherina on May Day? I finally got my latest parody finished. There are no cats or Lego® characters in this one. It’s weird. It’s a little different. It’s ridiculous, and it’s bloody awful. Basically everything a parody should be. I think you might enjoy it.

My inspiration for making a parody of Los del Río’s Macarena using the line “Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina!” in the chorus came from Siogiovanni’s post Buona domenica ! Sono pronto al ballo in mascherina… The moment I saw the title of his post I thought it would be perfect for a parody of Macarena. I suggested that Siogiavaonni do the parody, but I have to assume that Signor Giovanni has a normal mind, unlike mine that is a bit twisted.

After I suggested the parody, my twisted mind couldn’t let go of it, so I looked up a video of Macarena that has English and Spanish, Los Del Rio – Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix), got the music off of it, and wrote the lyrics with the chorus in Italian:

Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!

The chorus for Macarena is

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa’ darle alegria cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena
Hey Macarena!

Writing the lyrics was one thing, singing them was another. I about killed myself trying to sing the chorus. I’m just a slow-talking country boy who grew up playing in the mud along the Rio Grande. Rattling off a chorus in Italian at warp speed was nearly an insurmountable task. However, after practicing all of last weekend, I finally got through it, shy a few brain cells from lack of oxygen, and my mind twisted up a little tighter after many attempts at getting through just two repeats of the chorus, let alone all eleven times the chorus is repeated in the song. I had to do two tracks for the chorus singing with myself, which doubled the effort. It would have been nice to simply duplicate the first successful vocal track, but duplicate tracks are identical and still sounds like one person singing. Søren wanted to help sing, but it was too much for his bird brain, as well. However, he can dance Il Mascherina really well.

I decided that Antonio Romero Monge and Rafael Ruiz Perdigones (Los del Río) are not really from this world as they can sing Macarena effortlessly without breathing. We saw them in concert at Parque de Atracciones de Madrid in Madrid, Spain a couple of years after they released Macarena. They were excellent performers and rattled off “Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena…” effortlessly and as clear as a bell at warp speed. I didn’t think much about it back then. Now I am very impressed with those two after making this parody.

I never liked Macarena very much, therefore, I added a guitar track to the recording to add interest and counterpoint. I played my Black Beauty Strat on the recording. It’s the most recent of my custom guitars that I finished a couple of months ago. The masked guitarist plays Black Beauty in the video.

Mascherina

Music: Los del Río
Lyrics: Timothy Price

Intro
I’m only trying to make you laugh

Verse 1
Now I dance alone in a mascherina
Women stood in line, que estoy kinda buena
To dance with me I tell you no lies
Back in the day, they were grand ol’ times
Now I dance alone, what can I say
For these are sad and lonely days

Chorus
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!

Verse 2
Now don’t you worry about my girlfriend
Her name is I don’t have a girlfriend
In these days of Covid cooties
All I can do is dream about the cuties

Bridge
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Can’t go out and mascherina fits so fine

Chorus
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!

Bridge 2
Ok! Ok! It’s bloody awful

Bridge 3
Ma-Ma-Mascherina
Ma-Ma-Mascherina

Ma-Ma-Mascherina
Bridge 4
Mascherina
Mascherina
Mascherina

Chorus
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!

Verse 3
Find me dancing solo in a mascherina
Can’t go out and party con las chicas que son buena
So we can dance on Zoom, Zoom Zoom with me
Put on a mask and chant with me

Chorus repeated five times
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!

Beaver Dam Breaker

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The beaver dam breaker lurking around the corner.

The Conservancy has been at it again, breaking up and pulling the beaver dams out of the clearwater ditch with their evil Beaver Dam Breaker.

Below is a short video a did last night of a beaver sliding into the Rio Grande after cutting some willows to snack on along the river bank. We saw four beavers last night and six beavers the night before last.

The Angry Beavers also asked me to repost Bite ‘Em on the Old Shin Bone (at the bottom of this post) to remind everyone of how the Conservancy, who doesn’t conserve anything but destroys everything instead, is always picking on the poor beavers by destroying their dams. The beavers and their dams make a nice habitat for so many other critters.

 

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Not a pretty sight.

Society Broken by Germs

 

This parody of Green Day’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams was inspired by New Mexico DOT’s nanny signs on I-25, I-40, and in the Village of Corrales that read “Shop Alone. Stay Home. Stop Spread. Wash Hands. Save Lives.”, etc. I always shop alone and have done so for years. There’s no reason for both of us to shop together when the other person can be doing other things. Besides, if I go shopping with Laurie we generally get stuck in the bra section, which is like being stuck in hell. Apparently, with most everything closed during the lockdown, the government decided people were breaking the social distancing rules by going shopping together.  So they added “Shop Alone” to the their nanny signs.

Besides the Fender Bass in the video, all the other guitars I either custom built, customized, or assembled from guitar components. My solid Black Strat that I finished recently makes its first appearance in the video (I have played it in recent songs I’ve posted, however). I made it with everything black down to the finger board, frets and strings. Although, the frets don’t stay black very long. I don’t believe the Fender Bass has appeared in videos before this one.

Society Broken by Germs

Music: Green Day
Lyrics: Timothy Price

I walk the grocery aisles,
They are not at all what I have known
Don’t know where they’ve gone
Push an empty cart, and I shop alone

I look at empty shelves
In society broken by germs
There where no one sleeps
I’m not the only one, but I shop alone

I shop alone, I shop alone
I shop alone, I shop alone

My phone’s the only one that’s there to guide me
With hollow lives how long can we take this beating
How can we accept a new reality
So now, I shop alone

Ah-ah Ah-ah Ah-ah Aaah-ah
Ah-ah Ah-ah Ah-ah

I’m standing in the line
Socially distant to be kind
Are we out of line
In a wedge where I shop alone

Don’t try to cut in line
You’ll be screwed, beaten by fists drawn tight
Check your vital signs? No, you’re not alive
And I shop alone

I shop alone, I shop alone
I shop alone, I shop a-

My phone’s the only one that’s there to guide me
With hollow lives how long can we take this beating
How can we accept a new reality
So now, I shop alone

Ah-ah Ah-ah Ah-ah Aaah-ah
Ah-ah Ah-ah

I shop alone, I shop a-

I look at empty shelves
In society broken by germs
There where no one sleeps
I’m not the only one, but I shop alone

My phone’s the only one that’s there to guide me
With hollow lives how long can we take this beating
How can we accept a new reality
So now, I shop alone

 

 

Space Herpes

 

With all the attention on the Coronavirus, everyone seems to have forgotten about space herpes (https://news.sky.com/story/nasa-issues-space-herpes-warning-as-virus-reactivates-in-astronauts-11669335). I haven’t, and I’m using space herpes to fulfill a request from Lewis Winn, my trusty music guru and a phenomenal jazz guitarist (you can listen to Lewis and Milo Jaramillo on “All that Jazz” recorded live in 2017 at our local KUNM radio station: https://www.kunm.org/post/lewis-winn-milo-jaramillo-all-jazz).

Lewis is the one person, besides Laurie, who tells me exactly what he thinks about my parodies. Lewis found my early parodies to be “bloody awful”, but funny and entertaining. Lewis thought my last parody, La Llorona, was not up to par on the bloody awful scale and he emailed me a simple question: “But gee, can’t you just make America bloody awful again?”

I think I have done a pretty bloody good job making America bloody awful again with Space Herpes — strained vocals, rough guitars, sporadic bass, and a silly video with cheesy special effects. The Legos® characters where gracious enough to help with another video, and the one redeeming part of Space Herpes is the drum track is played by Ian Paice, drummer for Deep Purple. Space Herpes is a parody of Deep Purple’s Space Truckin’ off their Machine Head album released 48 years ago this month.

Space Herpes

Music: Deep Purple
Lyrics: Timothy Price
Guitars: Timothy Price
Bass: Timothy Price
Drums: Ian Paice

Well we lip locked with the Vals on Venus
We were making out a lot on Mars
We’re smooching with the groovy aliens
Kissed across the universe a far

We messed around with Borealis
We got space herpes from the stars

Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes

Remember when we kissed the moon rocks
Swinging around the Milky Way
We found Uranus was a rude shock
Pluto doesn’t see the light of day

We’re messin’ round in the solar system
And got space herpes along the way

Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes

The Fireball we drank was burning
And now we have a new routine
Yeah yeah yeah yeah Marline said
They can kiss, but they cannot sing

We’re messin’ round in the solar system
Swinging around the Milky Way
We messed around with Borealis
Got space herpes everyday

Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes

Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes

 

La Llorona

I haven’t posted a parody in quite a long time. I’m sure there are many people who think it would be just fine if I never posted another parody. But life presses on, and I love making parodies, so another one has come to fruition. Besides, I could not let this opportunity for a parody pass me by.

It all started on New Years Day when Wade came over for black eyed peas. We prepare and eat black eyed peas every New Years Day for good luck (Laurie does most of the cooking). Wade and I went for a walk to Beaver point. Wade had never been to the river in Corrales, and he noticed the jetties along the riverbank. He commented that the river bank looked like Normandy with the large, jacks-shaped iron jetties along the edge of the river.

While I was explaining how the jetties were installed by the Conservancy for flood control, I pointed out a knot in one of the large cables that used to run through a line of jetties. I explained that La Llorona was the only one around here who had enough strength to tie a knot in a 1 1/4 steel cable. Wade asked “Who? I’ve never hear of La Llorona. Is she like ‘My Sharona?'” I sad no, but realized at that moment that La Llorona was a perfect parody for “My Sharona”. You may know the song by The Knack? I was surprised I hadn’t put La Llorona and “My Sharona” together before now. It’s such and obvious fit. I wrote the lyrics and recorded the parody to The Knack’s music the next day. But it took a lot of thinking before I came up with an idea for a video.

It might have been right around Epiphany that I had an epiphany to employ Lego® figurines for La Llorona and her children. I knew we still had a lot of Legos out in the infinite shed of doom, so I plunged in and found some Lego figurines that were more that happy to play the parts. I also used photos of Muertas from Albuquerque’s annual Dia de los Muertos Marigold Parade in the video.

La Llorona

Lyrics: Timothy Price
Music: The Knack
Vocals AWB

Ooo, she lost her little ones, her little ones
When she drowned them in the ditch, la Llorona!
Ooo, then she tried to run, tried to run
Turned around and killed herself, la Llorona.

Never stops looking, gave them up, crying all the time
She can’t give them up, her wet embrace will break your spine
Cry, cry, cry, cry-cry, woo!

L-l-l-la Llorona

Come a little closer, she drown you in the ditch
Close enough to scratch your eyes, la Llorona
She is a mystery, always crying, look and see
Running down the ditch she shrieks on high, Llorona

Never stops looking, gave them up, crying all the time
She can’t give them up, her wet embrace will break your spine
Cry, cry, cry, cry-cry, woo!

L-l-l-la Llorona
L-l-l-la Llorona (Yeah!)

When’s she going to give it up, give it up
She’s just crying all the time, la Llorona
Is it just infanticide, infanticide
Or is it murder in your mind, Llorona?

Never stops looking, gave them up, crying all the time
She can’t give them up, her wet embrace will break your spine
Cry, cry, cry, cry-cry, woo!
C-c-c-c-c-c-c-cry, cry, cry, cry-cry, woo!

L-l-l-la Llorona
L-l-l-la Llorona
L-l-l-la Llorona
L-l-l-la Llorona

Aaaaah-oooh, la Llorona
Aaaaah-oooh, la Llorona
Aaaaah-oooh, la Llorona

 

Here’s some “My Sharona” trivia: “My Sharona”  was recorded in a single take in the studio and released on the album “Get The Knack” in June 1979. It sold over a half a million copies in record time for the 70s, and became the fastest Capital Record debut to reach gold since the Beatles’ “I Want to Hold Your Hand” in 1964.

Angry Beavers

The Conservancy tore the beavers’ dams out of the clear water ditch again. As you might imagine, the beavers are upset. The Angry Beavers asked the AWB to post “Bite ‘Em On The Old Shin Bone” again to remind everyone about how unjust the Conservancy is destroying the beavers’ hard work. Let alone messing up the ecosystem the beavers create with their dams.

If you would like to read about the video and the lyrics, you can visit the original post at https://photos.tandlphotos.com/blog/2017/11/bite-em-on-the-old-shin-bone. If you are curious about the leg with the “Do Not Throw” tag on the toe, you can read about it at https://photos.tandlphotos.com/blog/2015/7/tales-from-my-youth-do-not-throw.

When Owls Fly

The Average White Boys haven’t done a parody video in quite awhile. I have several parodies in the works, and I finally finished this one I’m calling When Owls Fly. For anyone who has seen my other parody videos, When Owls Fly is quite different because

1) I arranged the music for the parody
2) I played all the instruments to create the music
3) Several parts of the video refer to the original video When Doves Cry by Prince, so it is more of a true parody compared to the other parodies I’ve done.

I started working on When Owls Fly last summer, collecting video and audio clips of the owls while out walking in the bosque. After I got an idea to make a parody based on Prince’s When Doves Cry, I had a problem because I needed to do my own arrangement of the music to make it work with the concept I had for When Owls Fly.

I hadn’t played my flamenco guitar for several years because of numbness in my fingertips from chemo, and pain in my hands from arthritis. Therefore, I couldn’t simply borrow an electric guitar and lay down guitar tracks — I couldn’t play guitar well enough. I don’t play keyboard, so about all I could do was lay down percussion tracks.

While casually looking at cheap electric guitars on eBay last August, one of the guitars eBay’s auto recommendations suggested was to look at a Gibson Les Paul Studio guitar. The description said it was in very good condition, it was all black, and the price was right. I snatched it up thinking that an electric guitar would be easier to play for me to start relearning to play guitar, plus I would have an electric guitar for parodies like When Owls Fly.

After practicing the Les Paul for several weeks, which is much easier to play than my flamenco guitar, I started figuring out the intro to When Doves Cry. Over then next three months I began to get a little better at playing the Les Paul, so I got out my flamenco guitar in mid November. Those few months of work on the electric guitar paid off, as now the flamenco guitar was not quite as challenging to play. It is nice to be playing again, no matter how rough my playing is.

Last October I started making the video clips for the parody. I laid down the percussion tracks in November, and I finally got where I could play a reasonable facsimile of the introduction on my Les Paul, and recorded the introduction. Next I laid down the rhythm guitar track using the Les Paul, and finally I added the recording of the owls hooting. I mixed the intro guitar, percussion, rhythm guitar and owls hooting together, ready for the vocal track.

After I recorded the vocal track, which is not even a close facsimile to Prince’s vocals — c’est la vie since I’m not much of a vocalist — everything worked well together; however, the arrangement was missing the keyboard in the original song. I don’t play piano or keyboard, so I got the idea to play my flamenco guitar in place of the keyboard that’s in the original song. I laid down the track playing my flamenco guitar last week. My flamenco guitar substitution isn’t anything like the keyboard in When Doves Cry, but I believe it works pretty well for the owls. After adding some finishing touches, I completed the final mix, put it all together with the video clips and produced the video below.

Since I’m using my darkroom for my recording studio, the music comes out a bit raw sounding from the confined space. Furthermore, my mic input doesn’t work on my MacBook Pro, therefore, I am using the microphones built into the computer. The built-in mics are okay for voice, but fall a little short for musical instruments, in my opinion, but that’s what I have to work with at the moment.

If you are not familiar with When Doves Cry, and would like to see the video that inspired When Owls Fly, you can watch it on YouTube at https://youtu.be/UG3VcCAlUgE.

When Owls Fly
Inspired by When Doves Cry by Prince
Arrangement by Timothy Price
Lyrics by Timothy Price

Look and I will take a picture
See you engaged you never miss
The grass I lie in covers me
Oh I see a starling
Got a picture of it

Seems what I see from the backyard
Oh some yellow flowers in bloom
All in sight with the roses
We feel the beat
The beat unseen but herd by you

Now I can see that you’re standing
To fend for yourself in a world so cold
Maybe it goes not withstanding
That you look like your father, so golden
And also you look like your mother
Hooting never so tongue tied
You hoot and peep at each other
This is what it sounds like
When owls fly

I stand back in a black tench coat
Feel how the sweat dribbles inside
I’ve got the dizzy eyes looking up
Can’t see to face you
You are up so high

Now I can see that you’re standing
To fend for yourself in a world so cold
Maybe it goes not withstanding
That you look like your father, so golden
And also you look like your mother
Hooting never so tongue tied
You hoot and peep at each other
This is what it sounds like
When owls fly

Now I can see that you’re standing
To fend for yourself in a world so cold? (A world that’s so cold)
Maybe it goes not withstanding (Maybe your like your father)
That you look like your father, so golden (Ya know he’s so golden)
And also you look like your mother (Maybe you’re just like your mother)
Hooting never so tongue tied (She’s never tongue tied)
You hoot and peep at each other (Why do you peep, why)
This is what it sound like
When owls fly