Day In The Life Of Inchcock

I made this parody back in 2017. Inchcock did a post recently on memories about when he was in the hospital after he had a stroke. The post made me think of all the getting out and walking about Nottingham Inchcock did before and after his stroke, up until he was put in home jail where he’s been locked up in solitary confinement for months due to the COVID cooties. Of course, being placed in solitary confinement with much less access to medical services increases his risk greatly, but good old Inchcock takes his pain in stride and presses on entertaining us with the daily details of his dealings with life in solitary confinement.

A Day in the Life of Inchcock
Music by the Beatles
Lyrics by Timothy Price

Great pain, high spirits today oh boy
A lucky man standing by the Methodist Church
I think I should be rather sad
But I just had to laugh

I took the photograph
Out the window, mind you houses and cars
Off to Sherringham for shots, so quick, times have changed
Nicole the nurse she just stood and stared
Trying to stop my blood
Was this really it
Was I off to see the Lord

A Whoopsiedangleplop today oh boy
The phone went off a dingling and a dangling
T’was the nurse bitching about my ambling
‘You’re not in your Flat?’
And you don’t have the book
I’d love to turn you Down

Got back, had a Weeee!
Refreshed, and accident-Free!
Got back out front and had a cup
Doorbell rang and I noticed it was late
It was the Nurse she had no hat
Up the lift in seconds flat
She had a firm, tight end that was smokin’ hot
She poked me in the tummy and I came out of my dream…

Great pain, high spirits today oh boy
Four thousand holes poked in me tummy there were
Although the holes where rather small
I couldn’t count the lot
We still don’t know how many holes it takes to fill old Inchcock

I’d love to turn you Down

Feline Matchmaking

Resa, who has the Art Gowns blog, and Spunk have had a thing going for a while now. When I posted The Persistence of Spunkery a couple of weeks ago, Holly and Marina got confused and thought that Resa’s cat Jeep* and Spunk had a thing going. With the inspiration from Holly and Marina, and collaboration with Resa, I wrote a song about our feline matchmaking and creating a modern, virtual, long-distance romance during these times of Covid cooties between Jeep and Spunk.

Feline Matchmaking
Music & Lyrics by Timothy Price
Inspired by Holly and Marina
Collaboration between Resa and Timothy

Intro
Can we have long-distance love
For kitties locked down, locked in, Zoomed?

Verse
Jeep’s up north to the east
Spunk’s down south to the west

Jeep says meuw, not meow
Spunk says mew followed by a growl

Jeep is four dimensions in three
Spunk’s dimensions? Egyptian eyes
Jeep is a sweet girly whirly
Spunk has his destructive manly ways

Bridge
Girly/Manly ways attract
Equals
Virtual romance for a matter-of-fact

Chorus
Feline matchmaking during Covid cooties
Long-distance love-making, feline beauties
Purring, growling, rubbing screens
Jeep and Spunk have hit the scene

Bridge
Virtual love and Covid Cooties
Modern romance oh so beauti…
Full of screen-time Zoom Zoom Zoomed

Chorus
Feline matchmaking, Covid cooties
Long-distance love-making, feline beauties
Purring, growling, rubbing screens
Jeep and Spunk have hit the scene

*Jeep is named after Eugene the Jeep in the Popeye comic strip[1]. The vehicle we know of as a Jeep was also named after Eugene the Jeep by soldiers during WWII who thought the Willys MB light utility vehicle was “small, able to move between dimensions and could solve seemingly impossible problems”[2].

Non-Tubular Bells

John at Las Vegas Photo Blog posted a video of church bells ringing in Banff, Canada which reminded me that I had recorded the bells ringing while on the bell towers at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, France in 2018. I found the video and decided it was boring by itself because the bells at Notre Dame were very loud standing in the bell tower, and they didn’t have any variation other than a bunch of bells ringing at once. Therefore, I wrote a piece of music to go with the bells, and put together a rather strange music video called Non-Tubular Bells. I include photos from Notre Dame in 2018 before the fire, pictures of Paris taken from the bell towers, video of the American Flag at our neighbor’s house, video of our neighbor’s dogs playing in the Rio Grande and video of the Owlets flapping their wings and flying a little.

Wet Coachwhip Snake

 

I got a video of a Coachwhip Snake (Masticophis flagellum testaceous) swimming in the irrigation ditch. I know a lot of people have trouble with snakes, but they are really quite beautiful. It’s not often I see a Coachwhip Snake taking a swim. After we got back from checking on the owls and walking in the bosque this morning, I wrote a song to go with the video appropriately named Coachwhip Snake. I recorded the song and put it all together in the above video this afternoon. Enjoy!

Coachwhip Snake
Lyrics: Timothy Price
Music: Timothy Price

Verse
Slither swimming in the ditch
Sloppy sine wave between the wake
Slips the bank scales in cross-stitch
Stops and eyes me with suspicion

Bridge
We stand we stare he and me
Paparazzo and snake admiration

Chorus
Masticophis flagellum testaceous
That’s what I said
Beautiful snake, braided scales
Colubrid whipped up in western red

Verse
Slither swimming in the ditch
Sloppy sine wave between the wake

Bridge
We stand we stare he and me
Paparazzo and snake admiration

Chorus
Masticophis flagellum testaceous
That’s what I said
Beautiful snake, braided scales
Colubrid whipped up in western red

Sphingidae — Sphinx Moth

A Sphingidae — Spinx Moth, AKA Hummingbird Hawk-Moth, was fluttering around feeding on our Purple Salvia with the bees and the butterflies. I made a short video of it and added one of our recordings of Caña for background music (I’m playing and Laurie’s dancing). The only sound on the original video was the wind.

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Challenges

There seems to be all kinds of challenges in the blogosphere, mostly photo challenges, and writing challenges. Here are a few challenges I recorded.

The first challenge was the song that started out as a drum track that Joel put together. He sent me the track and gave me the challenge to make a song out of it. I laid down a bass track, followed by a rhythm guitar track. I made up a vocal track on the spot, so I have not written down the lyrics, then I laid down the lead guitar track. One take for each track. I named the song  Joel’s Beat.

 

The second challenge was when I was finally able to get my car washed (car washes had been closed under the lockdown). I washed my car and what did I get? Dust and muddy kitty prints all over the lid.

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The third challenge was for Big Baby Owl who had flown over to another branch on the cottonwood tree, then decided to climb the trunk of the tree to get up where Mama Owl was perched high above her. Big Baby Owl climbed and climbed, flapped her wings over the more difficult parts, and finally got into a fork in the tree about 10 feet from Mama Owl. She looked up at Mama Owl and Mama Owl flew off. Big Baby Owl was devastated. She just stood in the fork of the tree with her head bowed (click on the photos for an enlarged slide show).

 

The fourth challenge was photographing black Irises that are bleached purple in our intense sunshine. The irises look almost black to the naked eye, but properly exposed photos show how purple black really is.

 

The fifth challenge was doing super wide-angle photos of Spunk and living to write about it and post the photos.

 

Mascherina

Did you wear your Mascherina on May Day? I finally got my latest parody finished. There are no cats or Lego® characters in this one. It’s weird. It’s a little different. It’s ridiculous, and it’s bloody awful. Basically everything a parody should be. I think you might enjoy it.

My inspiration for making a parody of Los del Río’s Macarena using the line “Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina!” in the chorus came from Siogiovanni’s post Buona domenica ! Sono pronto al ballo in mascherina… The moment I saw the title of his post I thought it would be perfect for a parody of Macarena. I suggested that Siogiavaonni do the parody, but I have to assume that Signor Giovanni has a normal mind, unlike mine that is a bit twisted.

After I suggested the parody, my twisted mind couldn’t let go of it, so I looked up a video of Macarena that has English and Spanish, Los Del Rio – Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix), got the music off of it, and wrote the lyrics with the chorus in Italian:

Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!

The chorus for Macarena is

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa’ darle alegria cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena
Hey Macarena!

Writing the lyrics was one thing, singing them was another. I about killed myself trying to sing the chorus. I’m just a slow-talking country boy who grew up playing in the mud along the Rio Grande. Rattling off a chorus in Italian at warp speed was nearly an insurmountable task. However, after practicing all of last weekend, I finally got through it, shy a few brain cells from lack of oxygen, and my mind twisted up a little tighter after many attempts at getting through just two repeats of the chorus, let alone all eleven times the chorus is repeated in the song. I had to do two tracks for the chorus singing with myself, which doubled the effort. It would have been nice to simply duplicate the first successful vocal track, but duplicate tracks are identical and still sounds like one person singing. Søren wanted to help sing, but it was too much for his bird brain, as well. However, he can dance Il Mascherina really well.

I decided that Antonio Romero Monge and Rafael Ruiz Perdigones (Los del Río) are not really from this world as they can sing Macarena effortlessly without breathing. We saw them in concert at Parque de Atracciones de Madrid in Madrid, Spain a couple of years after they released Macarena. They were excellent performers and rattled off “Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena…” effortlessly and as clear as a bell at warp speed. I didn’t think much about it back then. Now I am very impressed with those two after making this parody.

I never liked Macarena very much, therefore, I added a guitar track to the recording to add interest and counterpoint. I played my Black Beauty Strat on the recording. It’s the most recent of my custom guitars that I finished a couple of months ago. The masked guitarist plays Black Beauty in the video.

Mascherina

Music: Los del Río
Lyrics: Timothy Price

Intro
I’m only trying to make you laugh

Verse 1
Now I dance alone in a mascherina
Women stood in line, que estoy kinda buena
To dance with me I tell you no lies
Back in the day, they were grand ol’ times
Now I dance alone, what can I say
For these are sad and lonely days

Chorus
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!

Verse 2
Now don’t you worry about my girlfriend
Her name is I don’t have a girlfriend
In these days of Covid cooties
All I can do is dream about the cuties

Bridge
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Can’t go out and mascherina fits so fine

Chorus
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!

Bridge 2
Ok! Ok! It’s bloody awful

Bridge 3
Ma-Ma-Mascherina
Ma-Ma-Mascherina

Ma-Ma-Mascherina
Bridge 4
Mascherina
Mascherina
Mascherina

Chorus
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!

Verse 3
Find me dancing solo in a mascherina
Can’t go out and party con las chicas que son buena
So we can dance on Zoom, Zoom Zoom with me
Put on a mask and chant with me

Chorus repeated five times
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
Sono diventare ballerina quarantena
Andare a ballare ballo in a mascherina
In mascherina!
Ay!

Flamenco in the Old Church

While I was looking for the video file for Bite ‘Em on the Old Shin Bone last night to make a few updates to the video before posting it, I found a video of Laurie (Laura de Corrales) and me (El Cheo) performing Alegrías with Pablo Rodarte in a show we did in the Old Church in Corrales in the mid-1990s. Pablo danced Alegrías, Laura de Corrales is the Palmera, and El Cheo accompanied on guitar. I transferred the video from VHS to m4v several years ago, so the image quality is not very good. However, the sound is not too bad, considering.

In preparing for the show, Laurie and I practiced daily, I practiced with Pablo’s other students several days each week, but when it came to Pablo’s performance our practice together consisted of 15 minutes of Pablo doing a quick run-through of each part of the Alegías a week before the show. I simply had to follow all his leads during the performance.

Laurie and I both studied flamenco dance with Pablo, and I played flamenco guitar for many of his dance classes back in the 1990s before we moved to Spain for almost four years.

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The Old San Ysidro Church in Corrales
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Laura de Corrales dancing Tanguillos. El Cheo providing guitar accompaniment.

 

Beaver Dam Breaker

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The beaver dam breaker lurking around the corner.

The Conservancy has been at it again, breaking up and pulling the beaver dams out of the clearwater ditch with their evil Beaver Dam Breaker.

Below is a short video a did last night of a beaver sliding into the Rio Grande after cutting some willows to snack on along the river bank. We saw four beavers last night and six beavers the night before last.

The Angry Beavers also asked me to repost Bite ‘Em on the Old Shin Bone (at the bottom of this post) to remind everyone of how the Conservancy, who doesn’t conserve anything but destroys everything instead, is always picking on the poor beavers by destroying their dams. The beavers and their dams make a nice habitat for so many other critters.

 

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Not a pretty sight.

Society Broken by Germs

 

This parody of Green Day’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams was inspired by New Mexico DOT’s nanny signs on I-25, I-40, and in the Village of Corrales that read “Shop Alone. Stay Home. Stop Spread. Wash Hands. Save Lives.”, etc. I always shop alone and have done so for years. There’s no reason for both of us to shop together when the other person can be doing other things. Besides, if I go shopping with Laurie we generally get stuck in the bra section, which is like being stuck in hell. Apparently, with most everything closed during the lockdown, the government decided people were breaking the social distancing rules by going shopping together.  So they added “Shop Alone” to the their nanny signs.

Besides the Fender Bass in the video, all the other guitars I either custom built, customized, or assembled from guitar components. My solid Black Strat that I finished recently makes its first appearance in the video (I have played it in recent songs I’ve posted, however). I made it with everything black down to the finger board, frets and strings. Although, the frets don’t stay black very long. I don’t believe the Fender Bass has appeared in videos before this one.

Society Broken by Germs

Music: Green Day
Lyrics: Timothy Price

I walk the grocery aisles,
They are not at all what I have known
Don’t know where they’ve gone
Push an empty cart, and I shop alone

I look at empty shelves
In society broken by germs
There where no one sleeps
I’m not the only one, but I shop alone

I shop alone, I shop alone
I shop alone, I shop alone

My phone’s the only one that’s there to guide me
With hollow lives how long can we take this beating
How can we accept a new reality
So now, I shop alone

Ah-ah Ah-ah Ah-ah Aaah-ah
Ah-ah Ah-ah Ah-ah

I’m standing in the line
Socially distant to be kind
Are we out of line
In a wedge where I shop alone

Don’t try to cut in line
You’ll be screwed, beaten by fists drawn tight
Check your vital signs? No, you’re not alive
And I shop alone

I shop alone, I shop alone
I shop alone, I shop a-

My phone’s the only one that’s there to guide me
With hollow lives how long can we take this beating
How can we accept a new reality
So now, I shop alone

Ah-ah Ah-ah Ah-ah Aaah-ah
Ah-ah Ah-ah

I shop alone, I shop a-

I look at empty shelves
In society broken by germs
There where no one sleeps
I’m not the only one, but I shop alone

My phone’s the only one that’s there to guide me
With hollow lives how long can we take this beating
How can we accept a new reality
So now, I shop alone