Our office manager thought she had killed the shredder when it stopped working mid-shred yesterday afternoon. I told her she had probably tripped the thermal breaker and that it would reset at some point. When I got into the office early this morning, I plugged in the shredder and turned it on. It showed slight signs of life but did not startup. I took it apart and cleaned all the paper shreds out of the shredding teeth, put it back together, plugged it in again, turned it on, and voilà, it started up. I looked up the manual online to see if it had instructions for maintenance and lubrication. What I found were warnings about NOT USING the shredder to
Cut your nails
Shred children
Shred ties or loose clothing
Cut your hair
Shred aerosol products
I’m was really happy I found the manual since I had an urge to use the shredder to cut my nails, shed some old super-wide 70s ties, and cut my hair. I had not thought of shredding children or spray cans, but it’s good to know I’m not supposed to shred them, either.
Off Center & Not Even 
HaHa! I need to get the manual for my shredder out. I clean my shredder pretty frequently. I have attributed its longevity to that. But it may be attributable to the fact I never tried to shred children!
🤣
Hi Susan. That’s a good thing you have never tried shredding children. Apparently shredding children makes a bloody mess and clogs up the shredder. It’s a good thing there’s a warning in the manual.
😍❤
Thanks, Jeanne Marie.
You’re welcome! Made me smile.😍
We all need a smile these days.
Amen. It was nice.😍
It sort of goes along with the “DO NOT EAT” printed on the little packets of desiccant that come in various things, including vitamins. 🙂
Thanks, Lavinia. I’m surprised they didn’t have a do not eat on the shredder.
Hilarious!
Thanks, Jordan. Happy to give you a bit of hilarity in these bleak times.
You gotta wonder about these instructions, sometimes. Too funny!
You have to wonder if someone tried shredding kids or cans. Thanks, Dale.
Dammit! You can’t burn that old Right Guard can, now you tell me I can’t shred it either?
No sir and ma’am. They is a circle and bar that syas No! No! No1. Thanks, Maj & Sher.
Lol…..and now I know!
I don’t have a shredder but if I ever get one….I’ll remember these points😅😁😆🤣
Good for you. I’m happy I saved you from a possible disaster. Thanks, Ruelha.
Hahahah….I would never have guessed it! Phew😅😜😅
We have to keep those subliminal urges under control.
Hahaha! This made me smile. Shame they didn’t put cheese, either!
Thanks, Linda. Happy to make you smile. It might work well for shredding cheese. I might have to try it.
LOL! Lovely evening activity.
Shredding cheese in a paper shredder might prove to be quite entertaining.
This is Globalisation in action. 🤷♂️
Is shredding children a global problem? Makes one wonder that’s for sure. Thanks, John.
Yikes, nah…
Hmmm … I guess I’ll have to find another shredder.
Thanks, David.
Manufacurers don’t take any risks, how far-fetched they may be.
It all has to do with possible insurance claims.
Sure, it’s funny to see those icons 😉
Hahaha… Great post, Tim! Always fun starting my day with a great blog post from you.
Thanks, Herman. Happy to give you a good start to your morning.
That’s brilliant actually.
Thanks, Shey.
Is there any COMMON SENSE left in this world? OMG! Just the thought of what that manual says makes me laugh, Tim! Good thing you still have COMMON SENSE!
Thanks, Amy Rose. Common Sense left in this world? I don’t think there is much of it to be found these days. Happy you got a laugh.
Is that a severed limb next to the child?!?! 😆
Hi Mary Jo. I think it’s supposed to be his mother’s leg, but a severed leg is better or perhaps you can shred moms since that is not expressly forbidden.
It’s shred or be shredded 🤣😂🤣😂
Hahahaha! Absolutely.
🤣😂🤣😂… I see they mention nothing about the manual author, which means, you can freely shred them!!!! 😉 🤣😂🤣😂
Hi Marina. Yes. That is true, and a very good point. Like I commented to Mary Jo who asked if the leg next to cild was a severed limb, that I think is supposed to be his mother’s leg, we must presume we can shred moms along with the authors of the manual since shredding either one is not expressly forbidden. The laws of negation are interesting because we have to assume what is not expressly forbidden is legal.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
As you an Oannes know, we can shred guitars, also!🎸🎸🎸😻
Anything goes!!!!! …well, maybe not a Les Paul! 😉
I’ve done my share of shredding on my Les Paul. Oh! Did you know that I own a Les Paul?
I do now!!!!!!!😁😄😃 😉 Well, there’s creative shredding and there’s shredder shredding!!!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😄
Playing fast solos on guitars is calling shedding. Al Di Meola is a clean, fast guitar shredder. Then there are guitarists like myself who are not very clean or fast, but still make a shredding sound.
I gathered as much. Oannes probably knows hence he’s been posting all guitarist oriented tracks lately. Did you listen to Sneaky Pete Kleinow in the Zappa song?
Yes I did. I got distracted and forgot to comment.
I only mentioned it because I know you’d appreciate it! 😉
I appreciate it, because I do and did appreciate it.
😉
🤣😂🤣😂
OMG! That is hilarious! I’m glad you had some common sense prior to reading the warning, it could have been a much different post!😂
It would have been bloody awful. But I tend to be pretty good at bloody awful. Thanks, Tiffany.
So funny, Tim, and a little frightening.
It is a little frightening when you start thinking about all the things you might want to shred. Thanks, Mia.
It is! You’re welcome, Tim.
Those instructions have to be from some prior attempts – YIKES! lol
Does make you wonder. Thanks, Teri.
But, what if you know some kids that really, really should be shredded? They do exist.
You may be right. It just says not to do it. Not that you can’t do it. Thanks, needhamb.
Another giggle! thank you!
Thanks, Nancy. Happy to give you another giggle.
I could use a hair cut. No shredding living things though.
I’m sure your hair looks wonderful really long. Thanks, Holly.
Thank you! I guess I’ll pass on the shredder for now.
That’s good. As you mentioned, Redheads are becoming extinct. Long red hair is too valuable to cut in a shredder.
I could use some extra cash at Christmas, how valuable is it? 👩🏻🦰
Here’s a hair price calculator: https://hairsellon.com/hair-price-calculator/
Your hair is probably worth several hundred dollars.
I saw a guy walking downtown the other day who had hair in cornrows that fell to the middle of his calves. Very impressive.
Cornrows! That’s the answer to my hair issues. You’re a lifesaver Timothy!
You would look great in cornrows. Did you run a calc to get the value of your hair?
I’m going to make the rounds at wig shops to Ck out my options, you’ve Saved the day Tim.
Damned good job you resisted your urges, Tim! Hahaha!
You might like the shred the pharmacy. Okay resist the urge. Thanks Inchcock.
Hahaha! You’ve given me two laughs now, Great!
I thought you might like the idea.
…job well done 👍
Thanks, Kay.
Lolol!
Are the manuals getting more and more stupid, or are people?
I hate reading manuals. Norm made me read the manual when we got a new stove. I’ve only been using stoves most of my life.
By the time I was finished the manual, I was afraid to approach the stove without a hazmat suit!
When we got our first Breville toaster oven, Laurie had read a review about one exploding when in was first plugged in and turned on. When we got the oven, Laurie and Tristan plugged it in on the counter of the outside kitchen turned it on and jumped back. It did not explode. When you read manuals and the side effects on prescription drugs, they do make you nervous.
Lol!
Oh, those side effect warnings in the medicine commercials! It’s like each side effect sounds worse than the disease the pills are managing. Mostly they don’t actually cure it. Except for the Hep C drug. It actually cures you, gets rid of the illness, and rarely a side effect.
Well, good thing you didn’t have any children around to give it a try.
True. Thanks, Diego.
ha ha!