Chaos Reigns Within…

…throw it all in the recycle bin.

In preparation for moving, I’m purging prehistoric software. Some of it goes back to the 1980s, most of it the 1990s. Either way, it’s like several million years old in cyber-time.

I couldn’t get Windows 98 to the recycle bin before it crashed — chaos reigns within.

Chaos reigned within the sbliminal, bit/byte backmasking in these old Microsft CDs.

Chaos reigned within the grocery store when a pigeon perched above the pickles.

If you spin these CDs backwards you see “Bill Gates is Lord! Chaos Reigns Within!”

Chaos reigned within the “sneaker net”. Networking was optional. No cat videos on the Internet.

Microsoft Office 4.2.1 on 33 install disks. Chaos reigned within installing that sucker.

Don’t Shred Children

Our office manager thought she had killed the shredder when it stopped working mid-shred yesterday afternoon. I told her she had probably tripped the thermal breaker and that it would reset at some point. When I got into the office early this morning, I plugged in the shredder and turned it on. It showed slight signs of life but did not startup. I took it apart and cleaned all the paper shreds out of the shredding teeth, put it back together, plugged it in again, turned it on, and voilà, it started up. I looked up the manual online to see if it had instructions for maintenance and lubrication. What I found were warnings about NOT USING the shredder to

Cut your nails

Shred children

Shred ties or loose clothing

Cut your hair

Shred aerosol products

I’m was really happy I found the manual since I had an urge to use the shredder to cut my nails, shed some old super-wide 70s ties, and cut my hair. I had not thought of shredding children or spray cans, but it’s good to know I’m not supposed to shred them, either.