Don’t Shred Children

Our office manager thought she had killed the shredder when it stopped working mid-shred yesterday afternoon. I told her she had probably tripped the thermal breaker and that it would reset at some point. When I got into the office early this morning, I plugged in the shredder and turned it on. It showed slight signs of life but did not startup. I took it apart and cleaned all the paper shreds out of the shredding teeth, put it back together, plugged it in again, turned it on, and voilΓ , it started up. I looked up the manual online to see if it had instructions for maintenance and lubrication. What I found were warnings about NOT USING the shredder to

Cut your nails

Shred children

Shred ties or loose clothing

Cut your hair

Shred aerosol products

I’m was really happy I found the manual since I had an urge to use the shredder to cut my nails, shed some old super-wide 70s ties, and cut my hair. I had not thought of shredding children or spray cans, but it’s good to know I’m not supposed to shred them, either.

85 thoughts on “Don’t Shred Children

  1. HaHa! I need to get the manual for my shredder out. I clean my shredder pretty frequently. I have attributed its longevity to that. But it may be attributable to the fact I never tried to shred children!

    • Hi Susan. That’s a good thing you have never tried shredding children. Apparently shredding children makes a bloody mess and clogs up the shredder. It’s a good thing there’s a warning in the manual.

  2. Lol…..and now I know!
    I don’t have a shredder but if I ever get one….I’ll remember these pointsπŸ˜…πŸ˜πŸ˜†πŸ€£

  3. Manufacurers don’t take any risks, how far-fetched they may be.
    It all has to do with possible insurance claims.
    Sure, it’s funny to see those icons πŸ˜‰

    • Thanks, Amy Rose. Common Sense left in this world? I don’t think there is much of it to be found these days. Happy you got a laugh.

  4. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚… I see they mention nothing about the manual author, which means, you can freely shred them!!!! πŸ˜‰ πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

  5. Lolol!
    Are the manuals getting more and more stupid, or are people?
    I hate reading manuals. Norm made me read the manual when we got a new stove. I’ve only been using stoves most of my life.
    By the time I was finished the manual, I was afraid to approach the stove without a hazmat suit!

    • When we got our first Breville toaster oven, Laurie had read a review about one exploding when in was first plugged in and turned on. When we got the oven, Laurie and Tristan plugged it in on the counter of the outside kitchen turned it on and jumped back. It did not explode. When you read manuals and the side effects on prescription drugs, they do make you nervous.

      • Lol!
        Oh, those side effect warnings in the medicine commercials! It’s like each side effect sounds worse than the disease the pills are managing. Mostly they don’t actually cure it. Except for the Hep C drug. It actually cures you, gets rid of the illness, and rarely a side effect.

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