Satire Sunday

Timothy Price28 Comments

Government Motors Reintroduces The Trans-Am

In a nostalgic move, GM has announced it’s bringing back the Trans-Am, as an all-inclusive automobile with the advanced, leading-edge “Pedal-Electro” propulsion system that will bring Pride to everyone. “This is not your average EV,” said Arden Hoffman, Senior Vice President and Chief People Officer for GM*, who is in charge of peddling the new pedal car. “Pedaling this baby charges the batteries and your cardiovascular system at the same time!”

Besides a revolutionary drive-train powered by pedaling, a generator attached to the drive-train helps charge the batteries that supply power to lights, computers, and a 200-watt Bose® audio system with a super sub-woofer that provides an inspiring booma booma booma to sync your pedaling. “The new Trans-Am will keep you in shape,” commented a short-of-breath Mark Tatum, GM board member, and Deputy Commissioner and Chief Operating Officer of the NBA, after taking the 3000-pound Trans-Am for a test pedal. “It weighs much more than it looks with that compact body.”

Other innovative features include a no-roof, open cockpit-style interior that provides natural airflow to keep you cool while pedaling with pride.

*Arden Hoffman’s real position and titles.

After my more serious post with a protest song yesterday, I figured a chaser of satire with photos of trees and clouds was in order for today.

Like A Skinny Crow

Timothy Price40 Comments

Like a Skinny Crow
Lyrics and Music by Timothy Price

Are they really so enlightened?
When they spread their darkness all around
Crushing creatives under foot
Oblivious to the pain they cause
They gather, and they celebrate
Making fun of deplorables who they hate

We are like a skinny crow
Scavenging in a parking lot
Wandering in a wilderness
of cement, rocks, and hot asphalt
Tearing at the morsels
Secured in those crumpled bags
Dodging tires than the drivers
No one seems to give a damn

I put on my spectacles
Only to see the spectacle
Of those who we trusted with our votes
Up to no good, selling us short
Got up the courage to ask them why
They said, “You fool, ungrateful guy
Everything we do is for your own good
We know what’s best, please go away
You must be grateful and do what we say”

We are like a skinny crow
Scavenging in a parking lot
Wandering in a wilderness
of cement, rocks, and hot asphalt
Tearing at the morsels
Secured in those crumpled bags
Dodging tires than the drivers
No one seems to give a damn

No Comet Seen Tonight

Timothy Price42 Comments

The comet was supposed to be close to Mars tonight. Using three different cameras, various exposures, and binoculars, I did not see a comet near Mars.

The above image was from the live sky on SkySafariWeb. The image below is from Celestron’s website. I’m in MST, which was 7:00 PM when the above photos were taken.

The night sky with whispy clouds from a couple of nights ago.

We got a dusting of snow on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings.

Clouds over the Sandias before sunset on Wednesday afternoon.

Sunset on Wednesday evening.

Sealed In A Kiss

Timothy Price35 Comments

Sealed in a Kiss is a sappy song about love and lust in Paris, France. It starts out in the key of G Major with some dissonance representing sad memories. I change to the key of D Major for the guitar solo, then I move to the key of C Major for the bridge. I change back to the key of G Major for the last chorus and outro.

Sealed In A Kiss
By Timothy Price

[Verse]
Hanging filmstrips up to dry
The last memories I have of you
Sealed in silver and empty spaces
Your ghost drips under amber light

[Chorus]
Reminiscing about times gone by
How we were lost in our lust
And how we found our love
Sealed in a kiss

[Verse]
I think back when we locked lips
Entangled over the river Seine
Our tongues played yours and mine
That was all the French we knew

[Guitar Solo]

[Bridge]
Boy and girl caught in the cold rain
How the steam did rise
We came up for air from time to time
Mouth-to-mouth brought us back to life

[Chorus]
Reminiscing about times gone by
How we were lost in our lust
And how we found our love
Sealed in a kiss

[Outro]

Simple Is As Simpletons Can Be

Timothy Price48 Comments

This music video uses my light-hearted metal song of the same name. Hmm! A light-hearted metal song might just be an oxymoron. The song came about after a discussion with another blogger about how there is so much nonsense in the world and how some people accuse us of being simpletons for not understating nonsense.

Simple Is As Simpletons Can Be
Words and Original Music by Timothy Price

[verse]
simple is as simpletons can be
complex meanings we can’t see
simple is as simpletons can be
oh how big words make us freeze
simple is as simpletons can be
reciting poems makes us wheeze
simple is as simpletons can be
we have trouble with the ABCs

[chorus]
No alliteration; we can’t rhyme words
No counting syllables, no action verbs
Confuse the Sonnets with Ebonics
And the Tankas with the trucks
We can’t reflect on the Palindromes
Or the messages in Acrostic poems

[bridge]
I grew up reading comics like “Spy vs Spy”
No nouns or verbs in the storylines
Sketches on pages, each worth a thousand words
Prefer poetry in pics for the visual nerds

[verse]
simple is as simpletons can be
oh how the deep folks like to tease
simple is as simpletons can be
they say we’re dense like the trees
simple is as simpletons can be
we may be dense, but at least we are free
of deep thoughts, worries, anxieties, stress…

[chorus]
No alliteration; we can’t rhyme words
We can’t count syllables, no action verbs
Confuse the Sonnets with Ebonics
And the Tankas with the trucks
We can’t reflect on the Palindromes
Or the messages in Acrostic poems

Caution Precaution

Timothy Price63 Comments

Spunk helping Laurie with her Chaucer research by reading the Caterbury Tails written by Chaucer’s cat Argos.

Eyes are upon you
Peeking through the heated grates
Caution Precaution

Ringo the Ring-neck Duck

“Damn! I hate it when that happens!”

Incoming