The Trouble With Bras

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The only aisle that is a straight shot from household goods to groceries in Walmart runs right through the bras. For as much as people complain about Walmart, they are good at merchandising, because I have never seen a woman walk past the bras on her way to household or groceries and not stop and at least flip through the large variety of brightly colored, multi-patterned bras hanging on the displays. If she decides to try on a few, and she happens to have a man in tow, he will slowly die of hunger and thirst waiting for his lovely gal to find a bra that fits just right.

Since l was done with the grocery shopping and there was nothing else I needed or wanted to look for, I sat on the wire bench outside the fitting rooms while I waited for Laurie. While fidgeting around trying to get comfortable, I started thinking about how suicide bombers believe they get 72 virgins after they blow themselves to hell. “Hmmm!” I thought to myself, what if they actually got condemned to shopping for bras with their 72 virgins for eternity? Now that would be hell! Think about it, sitting on an uncomfortable bench watching his 72 virgins all lined to get into the fitting room, each with a half a dozen bras in their hands. One by one they would come out and explain to him in detail why each bra didn’t fit quite right — “The cups fit on this one, but the straps dug into the fat! This one bloops out unless I stand up really straight and stick my chest out… this one’s underwire poked me, and this one…” And she’s off to grab another handful of bras to try on. While he’s waiting for his next virgin to give him the run down on the inadequacies of the load of bras she hauled into the fitting room, he has the rather round and tired old lady who’s at the end of her shift that never comes to keep him company. She’s nice enough, but he’s not enjoying fantasizing about what she would look like in her underwear. Another virgin interrupts his fantasy to describe her delicate dilemmas with the colorful display of cups and straps she’s dangling in his face — “This one doesn’t….”

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OldTulip

28 thoughts on “The Trouble With Bras

      • Hahahahaha!!! It was fun to read!
        Hope you write such a fun letter to me as well… Or did you forget? Well, I guess there are more important things in life than writing a letter to me, but I would love to have one… Hahahaha!!! I didn’t forget about it.
        Have a great evening/day!!!

      • I have not forgotten about writing you a letter. There’s so much going on with getting ready for France, that I haven’t had to do it.

      • Oh yes, I forgot you going to France! Sorry!
        Well I guess I’m just too anxious. 😉
        When are you going to France? I hope you have a great time over there! But, I think you will. 😉

      • The day after tomorrow you will be nearer to me than now… 😉 Have a great time!!!
        Will you be posting?

  1. Heehee … you are too funny Tim! I will laugh again every time I see bras lined up for sale.

  2. I love this! You are very observant! I love the idea that if you had 72 virgins you job would be helping her choose bras! What about the dudes that go inside Victoria’s Secret with their ladies! I like to watch them watch everyone and listening to all the conversations!
    I can tell Laurie has tried on a lot of clothes with you around so you got that one down for sure!
    My girl is a sucker for that isle! 😄😄great post!

    • Thanks, Michelle! I went into a Victoria’s Secret once to get something Laurie wanted. I asked the cute young sales girl if she would model some underwear so I could see how it looked, but she wouldn’t go for it. Although she did give me credit for trying. I buy a lot of Laurie’s clothes on-line and therefore get a lot of junk mail from women’s clothing stores. I also keep getting emails about being accepted into the who’s who of business women, which mush come from all the girly junkman I get.

  3. hahahahah!!! These are great shots– flowers are lovely and your descriptive write up SOO funny 😀

  4. I can imagine your pain . . . lol.
    I worked for Walmart for many years, the majority of my time spent as an apparel supervisor. Believe me, everyone who worked in that area hated bras more that anything else. Imagine the poor fitting room lady having to rehang all those tried-on bras, the evening and night help trying to keep them in order and straight. It was the hell of Walmart.

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