He waited in the place where I park
Suddenly the sky came flowing down
Someone left the Jake out in the rain
And I don’t think I can take it
Because it took so long to groom him
And he looks like he will never be dry again, oh no!
*Based on the chorus of MacArthur Park. A song written by American singer-songwriter Jimmy Webb that was recorded first in 1967 by Irish actor and singer Richard Harris.
Since we’ve adopted Jake, I spend a lot of time carrying little green bags of dog poop around with me when we are out on walks. The old song “Little Green Bag” by the Dutch band George Baker Selection came to mind one day, so I wrote parody lyrics about those little green bags of dog poop. I recorded the parody, and Jake and I made the above music video.
Silver: “It’s your own fault for adopting a dog. Pathetic poopy paparazzo!”
Gwendolyn: “Whoa! You really pick up that crap? At least with us kitties, you use a slotted scoop to clean the kitty litter.”
Spunk: “Well, pathetic poopy paparazzo. Your doggedness has done you in!”
While I’m off work for the holidays, Jake misses his ride to and from the office every day. He goes outside and sits by my car, waiting to go to work. When we don’t go to the office, he acts disappointed, so I’ve started taking Jake for a ride in the car every day while I’m on vacation. Today we came across a cluck of cranes.
I Am A Man is one of my favorite parodies. It’s such a perfect description of a man put to the music of I Am Women by Helen Reddy. Paul Shanklin is one of my inspirations for parodies along with Weird Al Yankovic. Lyrics are at the bottom of the post.
The toad that came in from the rain.
We have jugs, fountains, and bowls of water for the cats. Now, we have to leave a cup of water out for the jumping spiders.
I Am A Man
Lyrics by Paul Shanklin
Music by Ray Burton
Pull my finger, hear me roar
Like ten thousand times before
And you know that when I listen, I pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
Pick your socks up off the floor
But you know that I’ll just throw them down again
Oh, yes, I’m right, but it’s wisdom born with pain
Yes, I paid the price; just look how much I’ve gained
If I have to, I can eat anything
I am wrong (wrong)
I am insensitive (insensitive)
I’m a man
You can try, but never break me
‘Cause my mama never made me
Do nothin’ ’round the house but lick the bowl
I’ve got bigger things to ponder
I’m not the one who’s supposed to launder
Where are more batteries for my remote?
Whoa, yes, I’m right
But it’s wisdom born with pain
Yes, I’ll pay the price
But I get to watch the game
If I have to
I can fix anything
I am wrong (wrong)
I am insensitive ((insensitive)
I’m a man
Don’t you forget it, baby
I am man; watch me mow
See me swing just like a pro
And I still like Lucky Charms with eggs and ham
But she’s still a little slow
With a long, long way to go
How can I make your mama understand?
Oh, yes, I’m right
Or else I know who to blame
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I’ve gained
If I have to
I can sleep anywhere
I am wrong (wrong)
Sure, I’m insensitive (Neanderthal)
I’m a man
I’m a man
That’s right
Don’t you forget it
I’m gonna have fun tonight
I’m headed down to the bowling alley with Tony
And we’re not gonna come back ’til 3 a.m.
You have a trailer all to yourself
Come on, Bubba, let’s go
What do you mean your wife wants you to stay home?
Are you some kind of wimp? Or what?
Lyrics by Timothy Price. Music by Elton John. The lyrics are at the bottom of the post.
An Old Man’s Blues is my rewrite of Elton John’s Screw You (Young Man’s Blues), which was on the flip side of the Goodbye Yellow Brick Road single (45rpm) released in 1973. I bought the Goodbye Yellow Brick Road single in 1974 before I could afford to buy the album. I ended up playing the B-side more than the A-side because I identified with Screw You (Young Man’s Blues) when I was a sophomore in high school. I was a misfit weirdo, and I was teased a lot. One of the many reasons I dropped out of high school when I was 16.
I was working on a cover of Screw You (Young Man’s Blues) when I decided I needed to update the lyrics from 1970s England to 2024 New Mexico. Plus, the way I rewrote the bridge addresses some of the recent strange encounters in the blogosphere.
One of the images I did for the song art for An Old Man’s Blues.
More bloomin’ blooms
An Old Man’s Blues
Lyrics by Timothy Price
Music by Elton John
Now that I’m old, I don’t have much fun
I can’t see or hear or talk to anyone
My back’s a pain. There is so much strife
I’m gotta clean the kitty litter, oh what a life
I say screw you
I ain’t got nothing to choose
I live on my laptop
Cause there’s nothing else I can do
Screw you, I ain’t got nothin’ to choose
I’m livin’ on my laptop cause there’s nothin’ else I can do
I was workin’ downtown when I got in a fight
I was beaten in an alley out in broad daylight
The cops could care less; they were downright scary
Sayin’ “Make my day!” Just like Dirty Harry
They said, “Screw you!”
Oh, you stupid old fool
You work downtown
You get beaten by a Tool
Screw you! Oh, you stupid old fool
You work downtown
You get beaten by a Tool
See, there’s femmes who get laid for being slaves
Femmes who get paid for being laid
There’s femmes behind screen names who prey with delight
Those femmes they are liars; they are as dark as the night
They lie, scratch, and whine, trying to make a dime
And all of them say, “Get out my way! Screw you!”
I’ve stared at a screen from seven ’til nine
The wear on my eyes nearly drove me blind
Tryin’ to make riches with nothing to share
Gettin’ hell from my staff, but I didn’t care
They said, “Screw you!”
That’s all we’re gonna do
We’re not existing for someone like you
Screw you! This is all we’re gonna do
We’re not existing for someone like you
Screw you! Screw you!
(Screw you, screw you, screw you, screw you, screw you, screw you, screw you, screw you)
Glenda (foreground), and Gwendolyn (background) are in the catio looking for birthday birds. They were born on July 4, 2020.
Gwendolyn: “Three Years! That makes me like 28 years old!”
Gwendolyn (looking at the camera) and Glenda napping together on the deck.
Glenda reflecting
Spunk wrote a Heavy Metal parody called Death To All But Kitties for Glenda and Gwendolyn for their 3rd birthday. The lyrics are brutal, so dog lovers might not take well to Spunk’s parody. All of the cats dislike dogs, but Gwendolyn despises dogs more than anything. The first time Tristan brought Jake to the house, Gwendoly injured her spine trying to escape the monster dog that invaded her space. Jake only be’d a dog, but he really scared Gwendolyn. She lost the use of her legs for a week from her spinal injury. We were really worried about her. When she has gotten careless jumping on things or playing rough with the other kitties, she has reinjured her spine and again lost mobility in her hind legs. She still high-tails it when Tristan brings the dogs over, but she hasn’t injured herself in over a year.
Death To All But Kitties
Lyrics by Spunk Kitty
Music by Steel Panther
All right!
Meow!
Down with stupid dogs, I’m spraying on the wall
They look like shaggy retards licking on their balls
Pluto is a fool, and so is Scooby doo
Sniffing each other’s butts and rolling in their poo
They lick their butts, and people’s faces with their grody tongues
Everybody shout, “Kitties rule! Cats are fun!”
Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties
Death to all Dalmatians. Did you get their gist?
They’re whizzing on the fires, getting burnt to a crisp
Wearing black polka dots, really stupid critters
Eating Tootsie Rolls that we bury in our litter
Where are the Stray Cats? And Sylvester, too?
We strut around and act weird; that’s what kitties do
Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties
Kill those dumb old doggies who have a pedigree
They can hump on your leg all night; you won’t disagree
Kill sassy Lassie leaving Timmy in the well
Kill Old Yeller too. Been done? Oh, what the hell?
Screw Lady and the Tramp, death to Red Dog Blue
They can do the doggie shag. Wouldn’t that be cool?
Frankenweenie is a drag, Snoopy, don’t come home
Let ’em fight it out in a thunder dome
Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties
It’s been a while since I recorded a new parody. Laurie suggested I write a parody of Elton John’s Benny And The Jets and call it Timmy And The Cats. So I did. And here it is.
Timmy and the Cats
Music by Eton John
Parody Lyrics by Timothy Price
Hey Cats, Beaker shakes loose feathers
You’re scratching on something
That was known as my black leathers
You’ll kill a big fat mouse tonight, leaving it around
I’m gonna hear kitties purring, hissing, solid scratching sound
So, Glenda and Loki, have you seen them yet?
Ooh, but they’re so sprawled out
T-T-T-Timmy and the Cats
Oh, they’re so weird and they’re colorful
Timmy keeps their kitty litter clean
They’re like electric boobs, they’re shocking you
Squeezed through a ringer on a washing machine, oh oh oooh
T-T-T-Timmy and the Cats
Hey Cats, even though you are wage-less
You’re all so whiney, but Timmy makes it painless
You’ll all survive, Timmy will make you something out of wood
Where you fight with our parrots out on the sheets
To find who’s bad and who’s good
So Glenda and Loki, have you seen them yet?
Ooh, but they’re so sprawled out
T-T-T-Timmy and the Cats
Oh, they’re so weird and they’re colorful
Timmy keeps their kitty litter clean
They’re like electric boobs, they’re shocking you
Squeezed through a ringer on a washing machine, oh oh oooh
T-T-T-Timmy and the Cats
Say, Glenda and Loki, have you seen them yet?
Ooh, but they’re so sprawled out
T-T-T-Timmy and the Cats
Oh, they’re so weird and they’re colorful
Timmy keeps their kitty litter clean
They’re like electric boobs, they’re shocking you
Squeezed through a ringer on a washing machine, oh oh whoa
T-T-T-Timmy and the Cats
Timmae, Timmae and the Cats
Timmae, Timmae, Timmae, Timmae Timmae and the Cats
Timmae, Timmae, Timmae, Timmae and the Cats
Timmae, Timmae, Timmae, Timmae Timmae, Timmae and the Cats
Timmae, Timmae, Timmae, Timmae and the Cats
Timmae, Timmae, Timmae, Timmae and the Cats
Timmae
A parody I made about VR and our Virtual World using DEVO’s Beautiful World.
Virtual World
By Timothy Price
Music by DEVO
It’s a virtual world we live in
A Tweet filled kind of place
Virtual people everywhere
All covered by AppleCare
Games they like to play
In a virtual world
Our virtual world
It’s a virtual world
Undo
See-through
PU
It’s a proverbial time to be here
A slap on the behind
Deep fake porn is everywhere
You see they have no hair
Shaved it all away
It’s a proverbial place
Unretreavable space
It’s a virtual place
from you
Me too
F-you
Hey!
What do you want to be?
Hey you with the goggles on
Watching VR of an old King Kong
Hey Hey
It’s a virtual world we live in
A Tweet filled kind of place
Virtual people everywhere
All covered by AppleCare
Games they like to play
In a virtual world
Our virtual world
It’s a virtual world
Undo
See-through
PU
Oh can’t you see (It’s a virtual world)
For you (It’s a virtual world)
For you (It’s a virtual world)
For you (It’s a virtual world)
Not me (It’s a virtual world)
It’s a virtual world
It’s a virtual world
It’s a virtual world
It’s a virtual, virtual world
It’s a virtual, virtual world
It’s a virtual, virtual world
It’s a virtual, virtual world
Quotes and Videos used in Virtual World Video:
Bible Quote:
Proverbs 29, Complete Jewish Bible
“29 He who remains stiffnecked after much rebuke
will be suddenly and incurably broken.
2 When the righteous flourish, the people rejoice;
but when the wicked are in power, the people groan.
3 Whoever loves wisdom brings joy to his father,
but a patron of prostitutes wastes his wealth.
4 A king gives stability to a country by justice,
but one who overtaxes it brings it to ruin.
5 A person who flatters his neighbor
spreads a net for his own steps.”
Assassinations in Virtual Reality
https://youtu.be/htYd5HfImXU
King Kong (1933) – Beauty Killed the Beast Scene (10/10) | Movieclips
https://youtu.be/MMNICLfHE3M
Jeana Turner Gets An Emotionally Liberating Ty-Over | America’s Next Top Model
https://youtu.be/IpRSyVcHu-k
How To Shave Your Legs Like A Pro
https://youtu.be/dzpsJQN4o-Y
A New Booty Slapping Champion Has Arrived
https://youtu.be/M5hfMytDWnA
Jasmine Asia | Fearless Femininity | Agent Provocateur Autumn Winter 2020
https://youtu.be/j0TLnKE1uNQ
Hundreds march in #MeToo rally
https://youtu.be/gVPlL8Py1-c
Kid Rock – We The People (Official Video)
https://youtu.be/kyFnLqJx-uU
Why These Cows Are Wearing VR Glasses
https://youtu.be/_e3Vvvk-rjY
Twitter automatic scrolling in Web Interface
https://youtu.be/_cWKg3Pp1Mk
est VR 360 Video (Virtual Reality)
https://youtu.be/QKm-SOOMC4c
Halo Infinite | Campaign Gameplay Premiere – 8 Minute Demo
https://youtu.be/HZtc5-syeAk
Want to fly inside the firework? 360°, 4К aerial video
https://youtu.be/8bc0jE4igAc
Reacting to GODZILLA vs SIREN HEAD.. (IN REAL LIFE)
https://youtu.be/90yw5k76gcQ
woman smelling a bad smell
https://youtu.be/RPSLxOwwlSQ
How to protect your iPhone with AppleCare+ – Apple Support
https://youtu.be/DdjjRMhsQQU
Trapped in the Metaverse: Here’s What 24 Hours in VR Feels Like | WSJ
https://youtu.be/rtLTZUaMSDQ
Ok, Who is CodeMiko?
https://youtu.be/CsQjxEd-gsw
Sadly, the cranes are gone. They flew north for spring and summer. I did find some flowers blooming.
With all the hoopla about Omicron, we must not forget about other diseases that run amok like Space Herpes (you can learn more about space herpes at https://news.sky.com/story/nasa-issues-space-herpes-warning-as-virus-reactivates-in-astronauts-11669335). I brought Space Herpes to the attention of OC&NE readers in March of 2020. While the video I put together in 2020 was decent, the parody, which I originally recorded in 2018, was really bloody awful. I completely redid the music and recorded new vocals between a dentist appointment at dawn and shopping for ingredients for New Year’s black-eyed peas in the afternoon. The parody is now a much better PSA. Lyrics are at the end of the post.
1st photo: Dawn from the dentist’s office. 2nd photo: Moon peeking through the clouds at the dentist’s office. 3rd photo: Sunrise through the bedroom window by Laurie.
Sasha showing us her belly. I don’t think your allergies are space herpes, Sasha.
Sunset from the grocery store parking lot. I thought I was going to miss sunset tonight, but the painter made sure we got a good showing from the store. She didn’t want to disappoint Marina. Marina doesn’t need withdrawals from her daily OD on New Mexico’s Naturaleza at the end of the year.
Space Herpes
Music: Deep Purple
Lyrics: Timothy Price
Well we lip-locked with the Vals on Venus
We were making out a lot on Mars
We’re smooching with the groovy aliens
Kissed across the universe afar
We messed around with Borealis
We got space herpes from the stars
Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes
Remember when we kissed the moon rocks
Swinging around the Milky Way
We found Uranus was a rude shock
Pluto doesn’t see the light of day
We’re messin’ round in the solar system
And got space herpes along the way
Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes
The Fireball we drank was burning
And now we have a new routine
Yeah yeah yeah yeah Marline said
They can kiss, but they cannot sing
We’re messin’ round in the solar system
Swinging around the Milky Way
We messed around with Borealis
Got space herpes every day
Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes
Oh no oh no oh no
we got space herpes
oh no oh no oh no
space herpes
Some people will find this parody really creepy. It will certainly bug the hell out of other people. While a few people might even like the photos and footage of children of the earth, also known as Jerusalem Crickets and Potato Bugs. However you react, you might get a laugh out of me trying to fit “sweet child of the earth of mine” into the space of “sweet child o mine”. The lyrics are at the end of the post.
I was inspired to write the lyrics to this parody in February 2019 when I came across a Child of the Earth out trying to warm itself in the cold winter sun. I’ve worked on and off recording it for the past two and a half years. I got it to what Laurie thinks is a multi-dimensionally bloody awful state about 4 months ago. I was hoping to see a lot of Children of the Earth this summer to get more photos and footage of them, but, alas, no such luck. I borrowed footage from Jerusalem Crickets Only Date Drummers Deep Look, This Potato Bug Eats Everything! (Documentary), Killer Potato Bug Attack, and 9609 New Mexico Child Of The Earth (Another Journey in MyZahs life).
As a consolation prize, below are photos of the pTerodactyl doing a pterodactyl version of a hop, skip, and a jump, and cows in the cornfield.
Sweet Child Of The Earth Of Mine
Parody Lyrics by Timothy Price
It made me sad when I saw its face
Walking along in that lonely place
With a morning light so cold
Sun barely lit the sky
It seemed to shiver and it couldn’t run
trying to warm in that winter sun
And if it stayed too long
It would surely die
Oh-oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Its eyes were fixed, perfectly still
All-round in the darkest brown
Couldn’t seem to show the pain
Of that cold hard ground
Vulnerable exposed in an unsafe place
Without a place to hide
Try to save it from the freezing pain
Or simply pass it by?
Oh-oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Ooooooh! Oh-oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Oh, oh, oh-oh! Sweet child of the earth of mine
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where did it go?
Where, where did it go now?
Where’d it go?
Where-ere-ere-where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Where-ere-ere-ere-ere where did it go now?
Where did it go now?
Ooh oh oh where did it go now?
Where did it go?
Where did it go?
Whoa whoa whoa
Off Center & Not Even 