I recorded the music for Loki’s Beauty Rest in 2018. It’s a parody of Jethro Tull’s Locomotive Breath. I’ve been thinking about how to do a video for the parody for a long time, especially what to do with the long introduction and the meow meow solo. I finally came up with what I thought are decent solutions. Parody Lyrics at the end of the post.
In the bustling catness Loki needs his beauty rest He’s the all-time snoozer Awakened nonetheless
Oh, I hold the dish a scraping Tie hanging off my brow Spunk’s playing with the candle And Loki won’t stop snoring No, he won’t come down No, he won’t come down
He sees those pens to knock off From the table one by one He doesn’t have to pretend In bed he’s having fun
While I’m standing in the corridor Cameras hanging on my knees Spunk’s playing with the candle And Loki won’t stop snoring No he won’t come down
[meow meow solo]
He hears the Spunk a howling Killing lids as he calls Silver the all-time whiner Has gone and lost his balls
Oh, he licks his ridiculous rival Both lying in the sun I think Spunk’s playing with the candle and Loki won’t stop snoring No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down No, he won’t come down No, he won’t come down No, he won’t come down No, he won’t come down
This video goes out to Brian who has the Wildlife Intrigued blog. Although Brian’s photography is exemplary, he has more than once mentioned having some fear and mistrust of felines. Spunk, the Wild Cat, will certainly confirm Brian’s suspicions. However, we cannot assume all cats are alike based on Spunk’s behavior.
As you can see from the photo below, Spunk helped me put the video together and approves the content in the video. He certifies the authenticity of all his wild catness depicted in the above video.
Wild Cat Parody Lyrics: Timothy Price Music by The Troggs
Wild cat You stomped my heart flat You make everything scary Wild cat
Wild cat, you know I want you To lie on my lap and purr So come and curl up alright? I want you
Wild cat You stomped my heart flat You make everything scary Wild cat
Wild cat, why did you claw on me? I know I petted your fur Please don’t kill me alright? You’re toothy
Wild cat You stomped my heart flat You make everything scary Wild cat
Go on, go on, wild cat. Oh don’t shake your tail. Oh please? Don’t shake your tail! Oh! You shook your tail!
I made this video in 2017 with some really bloody awful vocals. I just recorded a new vocal track and updated the vocals so now they are just plain bloody awful.
Silver: “Ah! Oh my! You had to remind me!” Loki: “It was a sad time for both of us. I got blackballed or de-blackballed on the same sad day if you recall.
When he was a young cat He had big silver balls He laid out on the counter On display to one and all Ain’t seen nothing like them In any amusement hall
So guess what the vet did? She cut off his silver balls.
He laid there like Adonis He licked his silver things Feeling proud and smug He always kept them clean His pride and intuition He showed them off to all
So guess what the vet did? She cut off his silver balls.
He was a big balled wizard But with an evil twist The big balled wizard he lost his catliness
Why did we have to do it I don’t know His balls they looked so good
He didn’t have no distractions Didn’t care about buzzers and bells Surgery lights were flashing He thought he was in hell Doesn’t want a replay He never saw them fall
So guess what the vet did? She cut off his silver balls.
So we had to take on the big bally king We just took away his big ball crown from him
When he lays out on the table He doesn’t get no rest He’s cute when he’s all sprawled out You can see he’s lost his best His tail’s like a crazy weiner He never saw them fall…
So guess what the vet did? She cut off his silver balls.
A food truck called Mi Taco Su Taco parked in front of our new office this morning. I thought it might be a regular thing. Being Tuesday and having a Taco Truck in front of the office, I texted Bruce to let him know there was a Taco Truck out front if he wanted to come into the office for “Taco Tuesday!” He came in and went out and got in line to discover that the food truck was there for a special occasion for the Humana insurance group. Bruce had to wait until all of “Humanaty” got their tacos so Mi Taco Su Taco could account for all the tacos Humana’s staff had eaten. Then Bruce was able to get some of the leftover tacos. He brought me a couple of leftover tacos. They weren’t bad after I picked all the cilantro out them. “¡No me gusta cilantro¡”
Seeing the food truck reminded me of a parody I wrote and recorded back in 2017 called “Brewpubs And Food Trucks” to Strawberry Alarm Clock’s Incense and Peppermints that I never posted. The parody was inspired by the boom of brewpubs in Albuquerque at that time and all the food trucks that parked by the brewpubs. Now that brewpubs are open again, I see a lot of the food trucks outside the brewpubs. The food trucks offer a good service for people to get food to go with their beer and wine without having to go into a building.
I thought about redoing the vocals, but I recorded it long before I started using PreSonus Studio One. I used MixPad in 2017, and now the latest version of MixPad can’t open the old files. Therefore, you can listen to the bloody awful original version or choose to skip it.
The song really illustrates the reason we moved out of downtown. Things were not good in 2017. “ART” in the song is “Albuquerque Rapid Transit” a total public transit boondoggle rammed down Burqueños’ throats that interrupted businesses and ruined Central Ave, (Old Route 66) from the westside of Albuquerque to “Nobhill” just east of the University of New Mexico. Downtown only got worse and continues its downhill slide. You can follow along with the Lyrics that can be found after the kitty photos and comments.
ART sense, nonsense, spare me a dime Drama queens, silly things, undefinable crime Fashion drinkers, homeless drunks, boggle your mind Brewpubs, food trucks, signs of the time
Who cares for things we do If there’s little for me and nothing for you
Brewpubs, food trucks, gurgling sound Turn off, tune out, we need to look around Look at the wealth, look at the wealth, yeah, yeah Look at the wealth, look at the wealth, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Our polls have divided our world in two Thrown us off to the side, middle finger screw you Politicians choke their chickens, nothing is new A house full of lunatics with a bad point-of-view
Who cares for things we do If there’s little for me and nothing for you
ART sense, nonsense, spare me a dime Drama queens, silly things, undefinable crime Fashion drinkers, homeless drunks, boggle your mind Brewpubs, food trucks, signs of the time
Who cares for things we do If there’s little for me and nothing for you
Spunk relaxing in on the deck rail this afternoon.
Two-Stepping To Nowhere
Music: Ron Blood & Joel Lewis. Arrangement: Joel Lewis. Rhythm Guitar: Joel Lewis. 2nd Guitar: Timothy Price. Bass: Timothy Price. Drums: Mark Simma.
Spunk: “NOOooooo! Not that stupid country song!!!”
Two-Stepping To Nowhere is a collaboration between Ron Blood, Joel Lewis, Mark Simma, and I. Ron sent Joel tracks with a bass line and Mark Simma’s drum track. Joel wanted to make a country song, so he slowed it down, which messed up the bass line, so he took out the bass. He recorded the rhythm tracks with the drum tracks playing a semi-hollow body Tele, if I remember correctly, and sent the song to Ron and me. I listened to the song, lyrics popped into my head, I wrote them down, went into the studio, added a vocal track, and sent the song with vocals back to Joel and Ron a couple of hours after Joel had sent the rhythm guitar and drum tracks. Later I added the twangy 2nd guitar playing my Black Tele, and a new bass line. It’s a really silly song, as you can see by Spunk’s reaction above. But it’s fun and funny. The lyrics are at the bottom of the post if you want to follow along.
Spunk taking over my lunch back before I got it packed this morning.
Spunk: “And YOU thing cat herding is really tough!”
Spunk: “Oh Gwedolyn! Did you really need to break wind?”
Silver planning his attack for after I turn out the lights.
A little before sunset tonight.
Two-Stepping To Nowhere Music: Ron Blood & Joel Lewis Arrangement: Joel Lewis Rhythm Guitar: Joel Lewis 2nd Guitar: Timothy Price Bass: Timothy Price Drums: Mark Simma
I barfed on my cat today He was pissed. It’s always the other way I dragged myself out of bed Stepped on cats trying to get them all fed The life of a cat herder is really tough No one ever seems to get enough
Chorus It’s like trying to glide Across the dance floor When all you do is a slide Two-Steppin’ to nowhere
I got myself made up and dandy Going to go dancing and find some candy A lovely chica got me out on the floor She looked real nice she knew the score But it was just my dumb luck I drove my car, I had left my viagra in the pickup truck
Chorus It’s like trying to glide Across the dance floor When all you do is a slide Two-Steppin’ to nowhere
Out in the truck to do some shoppin’ The County station was down, I had to listen to a dude named Chopin It’s hard on a fella and his imaging When the country chicas could hear The wussy music he was listening to
Chorus It’s like trying to glide Across the dance floor When all you do is a slide Two-Steppin’ to nowhere
I barfed on my cat today He was pissed. It’s always the other way I dragged myself out of bed Stepped on cats trying to get them all fed The life of a cat herder is really tough No one ever seems No one ever seems No one ever seems to get enough
Kitten Party
Lyrics by Timothy Price, Music by Rick Nelson
Since I worked for 10.5 hours moving stuff, building shelves and desks, and then another hour testing and troubleshooting the new VPN, I’m posting another parody. Lyrics are below the photo of a kitten party.
The kittens partying with Sasha.
Kitten Party
Lyrics by Timothy Price
Music by Rick Nelson
I went to a Kitten party to see my old cool cats
A chance to purr, meow and spray and chase some rats
When I got to the kitten party the black cats looked the same
Jumping and bouncing all around they were really quite insane
The kittens are uptight now, they’re rolling all around
You see, the old cats they growl and hiss, so the kittens want a kiss
Tomcats came from miles around, the kittens were in heat
Oh no there’s a bobcat, who we don’t want to meet
The kittens ran all over, pouncing on their treats
Taxidermied mice with silly eyes looking like mousie freaks
The kittens are uptight now, they’re energy abounds
You see, the old cats want pay to play because the kittens they are strays
Kittens-meow-meow-meow, Kittens-meow-meow-meow
The kittens have some odd times, but they don’t really care
They attack one another, with tactics that seem unfair
Tried making up a kitty haiku, seven, five, and three
They knocked the syllables out like Spunk, quite hilariously
The kittens are uptight now, they’re jumping up and down
You see, the old cats they don’t want to see because the kittens won’t let them be
Someone opened up the side door and in stepped Bucky cat
Followed by Garfield, Odie, Satchel Pooch, and a great big spat!
If you’re going to a kitten party, you will get all scratched up
You think you’ll make it out alive, all I have to say is good luck
The kittens are uptight now, they pounce in one bound
You see, the old cats all they do is frown, and slap the kittens around
Sasha blocking the Xtreme blender box with Beowulf for backup
Whenever we place a box on the counter, all the cats go crazy over it, especially Sasha and Spunk. Many years ago, we were burning out run-of-the-mill blenders every two weeks making smoothies, frozen margaritas, soups, and whatever else would blend. Eleven years ago I broke down and bought an industrial 3.0 HP blender. We finally wore that one out, with a little help from the ghosts who would turn it on and off at 3:00 am. The ghosts were probably ROTFLTAO watching the two of us muddling around in the middle of the night trying to figure out where the jet engine sound was coming from. I had to start unplugging the blender at night. I replaced the 3.0 HP blender with a 3.5 HP Xtreme industrial blender.
Laurie was using the Xtreme blender box to scan Beowulf in the original Old English with her iPad. She scans Latin and Old English texts and then writes on the scanned text on her iPad while she’s translating it.
Intermission: I received a package from France. It’s a book of French comics.
Spunk says Sasha may look like a tough Xtreme box blocker, but, as you can see, she is no longer blocking the box. I think Spunk is better at channeling his inner Beowulf. The old worn-out blender is on the table in the background.
I presented my paper Quinientos años de lágrimas: The persistence of La Llorona — 16th Century to Present at The 52nd Annual Convention of the Northeast Modern Language Association this afternoon. The convention was scheduled to be held in Philadelphia, PA, but like so many things in our world of covid cooties, the organizers decided it was best to do a virtual conference. That was a wise decision, but it certainly changes the dynamics of a conference. I thought it was fitting to add the above parody I posted last year.
The last warning sliver moon in March.Sasha: “Do you like my La Llorona eyes?”
Marble: “No Sasha! This is how you make La Lorona eyes!”
Neither of you has it right. You need to be crying. Sasha & Marble: “Cats don’t cry! Stupid La Llorona!”
Silver: “La Llorona? Meh!”
Spunk: “No stinking La Llorona will get to me behind these bars!”
Glenda: “What’s that you say?”
“La la la La Llorona?”
Loki: “I’m not impressed!”
“Talk to the paws and claws La Llorona!”
Gwendolyn: “Yeah! Talk to the paws!”
Daddy Owl: “I don’t see no stinking La Llorona! What’s that you say? La Llorona can shapeshift into an owl? Ha ha ho ho hoo who. That’s a Hoot!”
