Loki’s Beauty Rest

I recorded the music for Loki’s Beauty Rest in 2018. It’s a parody of Jethro Tull’s Locomotive Breath. I’ve been thinking about how to do a video for the parody for a long time, especially what to do with the long introduction and the meow meow solo. I finally came up with what I thought are decent solutions. Parody Lyrics at the end of the post.

Sunrise

Sunset

Loki’s Beauty Rest
Music: Jethro Tull
Arrangement: Timothy Price
Preformed by AWB

In the bustling catness
Loki needs his beauty rest
He’s the all-time snoozer
Awakened nonetheless

Oh, I hold the dish a scraping
Tie hanging off my brow
Spunk’s playing with the candle
And Loki won’t stop snoring
No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down

He sees those pens to knock off
From the table one by one
He doesn’t have to pretend
In bed he’s having fun

While I’m standing in the corridor
Cameras hanging on my knees
Spunk’s playing with the candle
And Loki won’t stop snoring
No he won’t come down

[meow meow solo]

He hears the Spunk a howling
Killing lids as he calls
Silver the all-time whiner
Has gone and lost his balls

Oh, he licks his ridiculous rival
Both lying in the sun
I think Spunk’s playing with the candle and
Loki won’t stop snoring
No, he won’t come down

No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down
No, he won’t come down


Wild Cat

This video goes out to Brian who has the Wildlife Intrigued blog. Although Brian’s photography is exemplary, he has more than once mentioned having some fear and mistrust of felines. Spunk, the Wild Cat, will certainly confirm Brian’s suspicions. However, we cannot assume all cats are alike based on Spunk’s behavior.

As you can see from the photo below, Spunk helped me put the video together and approves the content in the video. He certifies the authenticity of all his wild catness depicted in the above video.

Wild Cat
Parody Lyrics: Timothy Price
Music by The Troggs

Wild cat
You stomped my heart flat
You make everything scary
Wild cat

Wild cat, you know I want you
To lie on my lap and purr
So come and curl up alright?
I want you

Wild cat
You stomped my heart flat
You make everything scary
Wild cat

Wild cat, why did you claw on me?
I know I petted your fur
Please don’t kill me alright?
You’re toothy

Wild cat
You stomped my heart flat
You make everything scary
Wild cat

Go on, go on, wild cat.
Oh don’t shake your tail. Oh please? Don’t shake your tail!
Oh! You shook your tail!

Big Balled Wizard

I made this video in 2017 with some really bloody awful vocals. I just recorded a new vocal track and updated the vocals so now they are just plain bloody awful.

Silver: “Ah! Oh my! You had to remind me!” Loki: “It was a sad time for both of us. I got blackballed or de-blackballed on the same sad day if you recall.

Sunset looking east

Sunset looking west

Big Balled Wizard

Music: Pete Townshend
Lyrics: Timothy Price
Vocals: AWB
Silver Kitty: Silver
Vet: Anonymous

When he was a young cat
He had big silver balls
He laid out on the counter
On display to one and all
Ain’t seen nothing like them
In any amusement hall

So guess what the vet did?
She cut off his silver balls.

He laid there like Adonis
He licked his silver things
Feeling proud and smug
He always kept them clean
His pride and intuition
He showed them off to all

So guess what the vet did?
She cut off his silver balls.

He was a big balled wizard
But with an evil twist
The big balled wizard he lost his catliness

Why did we have to do it
I don’t know
His balls they looked so good

He didn’t have no distractions
Didn’t care about buzzers and bells
Surgery lights were flashing
He thought he was in hell
Doesn’t want a replay
He never saw them fall

So guess what the vet did?
She cut off his silver balls.

So we had to take on the big bally king
We just took away his big ball crown from him

When he lays out on the table
He doesn’t get no rest
He’s cute when he’s all sprawled out
You can see he’s lost his best
His tail’s like a crazy weiner
He never saw them fall…

So guess what the vet did?
She cut off his silver balls.

Mi Taco Su Taco

A food truck called Mi Taco Su Taco parked in front of our new office this morning. I thought it might be a regular thing. Being Tuesday and having a Taco Truck in front of the office, I texted Bruce to let him know there was a Taco Truck out front if he wanted to come into the office for “Taco Tuesday!” He came in and went out and got in line to discover that the food truck was there for a special occasion for the Humana insurance group. Bruce had to wait until all of “Humanaty” got their tacos so Mi Taco Su Taco could account for all the tacos Humana’s staff had eaten. Then Bruce was able to get some of the leftover tacos. He brought me a couple of leftover tacos. They weren’t bad after I picked all the cilantro out them. “¡No me gusta cilantro¡”

Seeing the food truck reminded me of a parody I wrote and recorded back in 2017 called “Brewpubs And Food Trucks” to Strawberry Alarm Clock’s Incense and Peppermints that I never posted. The parody was inspired by the boom of brewpubs in Albuquerque at that time and all the food trucks that parked by the brewpubs. Now that brewpubs are open again, I see a lot of the food trucks outside the brewpubs. The food trucks offer a good service for people to get food to go with their beer and wine without having to go into a building.

I thought about redoing the vocals, but I recorded it long before I started using PreSonus Studio One. I used MixPad in 2017, and now the latest version of MixPad can’t open the old files. Therefore, you can listen to the bloody awful original version or choose to skip it.

The song really illustrates the reason we moved out of downtown. Things were not good in 2017. “ART” in the song is “Albuquerque Rapid Transit” a total public transit boondoggle rammed down Burqueños’ throats that interrupted businesses and ruined Central Ave, (Old Route 66) from the westside of Albuquerque to “Nobhill” just east of the University of New Mexico. Downtown only got worse and continues its downhill slide. You can follow along with the Lyrics that can be found after the kitty photos and comments.

Brewpubs And Food Trucks

Music: Strawberry Alarm Clock. Parody Lyrics: Timothy Price

Sasha: “Are you kidding me? A taco truck and another BAP?”

Spunk: “What’s that you say? Another BAP about ‘brew huhbubs and taco trucks’?”

Tesla: “AAAaaarrrgh! NOOoooo! Not another bloooody aawfuulll parody!”

Brewpubs And Food Trucks
Parody Lyrics: Timothy Price
Music: Strawberry Alarm Clock

ART sense, nonsense, spare me a dime
Drama queens, silly things, undefinable crime
Fashion drinkers, homeless drunks, boggle your mind
Brewpubs, food trucks, signs of the time

Who cares for things we do
If there’s little for me and nothing for you

Brewpubs, food trucks, gurgling sound
Turn off, tune out, we need to look around
Look at the wealth, look at the wealth, yeah, yeah
Look at the wealth, look at the wealth, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Our polls have divided our world in two
Thrown us off to the side, middle finger screw you
Politicians choke their chickens, nothing is new
A house full of lunatics with a bad point-of-view

Who cares for things we do
If there’s little for me and nothing for you

ART sense, nonsense, spare me a dime
Drama queens, silly things, undefinable crime
Fashion drinkers, homeless drunks, boggle your mind
Brewpubs, food trucks, signs of the time

Who cares for things we do
If there’s little for me and nothing for you

Brewpubs and food trucks
Brewpubs and food trucks

A Country Song

Spunk relaxing in on the deck rail this afternoon.

Two-Stepping To Nowhere

Music: Ron Blood & Joel Lewis. Arrangement: Joel Lewis. Rhythm Guitar: Joel Lewis. 2nd Guitar: Timothy Price. Bass: Timothy Price. Drums: Mark Simma.

Spunk: “NOOooooo! Not that stupid country song!!!”

Two-Stepping To Nowhere is a collaboration between Ron Blood, Joel Lewis, Mark Simma, and I. Ron sent Joel tracks with a bass line and Mark Simma’s drum track. Joel wanted to make a country song, so he slowed it down, which messed up the bass line, so he took out the bass. He recorded the rhythm tracks with the drum tracks playing a semi-hollow body Tele, if I remember correctly, and sent the song to Ron and me. I listened to the song, lyrics popped into my head, I wrote them down, went into the studio, added a vocal track, and sent the song with vocals back to Joel and Ron a couple of hours after Joel had sent the rhythm guitar and drum tracks. Later I added the twangy 2nd guitar playing my Black Tele, and a new bass line. It’s a really silly song, as you can see by Spunk’s reaction above. But it’s fun and funny. The lyrics are at the bottom of the post if you want to follow along.

Spunk taking over my lunch back before I got it packed this morning.

Spunk: “And YOU thing cat herding is really tough!”

Spunk: “Oh Gwedolyn! Did you really need to break wind?”

Silver planning his attack for after I turn out the lights.

A little before sunset tonight.

Two-Stepping To Nowhere
Music: Ron Blood & Joel Lewis
Arrangement: Joel Lewis
Rhythm Guitar: Joel Lewis
2nd Guitar: Timothy Price
Bass: Timothy Price
Drums: Mark Simma

I barfed on my cat today
He was pissed. It’s always the other way
I dragged myself out of bed
Stepped on cats trying to get them all fed
The life of a cat herder is really tough
No one ever seems to get enough

Chorus
It’s like trying to glide
Across the dance floor
When all you do is a slide
Two-Steppin’ to nowhere

I got myself made up and dandy
Going to go dancing and find some candy
A lovely chica got me out on the floor
She looked real nice she knew the score
But it was just my dumb luck
I drove my car, I had left my viagra in the pickup truck

Chorus
It’s like trying to glide
Across the dance floor
When all you do is a slide
Two-Steppin’ to nowhere

Out in the truck to do some shoppin’
The County station was down,
I had to listen to a dude named Chopin
It’s hard on a fella and his imaging
When the country chicas could hear
The wussy music he was listening to

Chorus
It’s like trying to glide
Across the dance floor
When all you do is a slide
Two-Steppin’ to nowhere

I barfed on my cat today
He was pissed. It’s always the other way
I dragged myself out of bed
Stepped on cats trying to get them all fed
The life of a cat herder is really tough
No one ever seems
No one ever seems
No one ever seems to get enough

Kitten Party

Kitten Party Lyrics by Timothy Price, Music by Rick Nelson

Since I worked for 10.5 hours moving stuff, building shelves and desks, and then another hour testing and troubleshooting the new VPN, I’m posting another parody. Lyrics are below the photo of a kitten party.

The kittens partying with Sasha.

Kitten Party
Lyrics by Timothy Price
Music by Rick Nelson

I went to a Kitten party to see my old cool cats
A chance to purr, meow and spray and chase some rats
When I got to the kitten party the black cats looked the same
Jumping and bouncing all around they were really quite insane

The kittens are uptight now, they’re rolling all around
You see, the old cats they growl and hiss, so the kittens want a kiss

Tomcats came from miles around, the kittens were in heat
Oh no there’s a bobcat, who we don’t want to meet
The kittens ran all over, pouncing on their treats
Taxidermied mice with silly eyes looking like mousie freaks

The kittens are uptight now, they’re energy abounds
You see, the old cats want pay to play because the kittens they are strays

Kittens-meow-meow-meow, Kittens-meow-meow-meow

The kittens have some odd times, but they don’t really care
They attack one another, with tactics that seem unfair
Tried making up a kitty haiku, seven, five, and three
They knocked the syllables out like Spunk, quite hilariously

The kittens are uptight now, they’re jumping up and down
You see, the old cats they don’t want to see because the kittens won’t let them be

Kittens-meow-meow-meow, Kittens-meow-meow-meow-meow
Kittens-meow-meow-meow-meow, Meow-meow-meow

Someone opened up the side door and in stepped Bucky cat
Followed by Garfield, Odie, Satchel Pooch, and a great big spat!
If you’re going to a kitten party, you will get all scratched up
You think you’ll make it out alive, all I have to say is good luck

The kittens are uptight now, they pounce in one bound
You see, the old cats all they do is frown, and slap the kittens around

Kittens-meow-meow-meow-meow, Kittens-meow-meow
Kittens-meow-meow-meow

The kittens are uptight now, they’re meowing all around
You see, the old cats won’t play with anyone else, so the kittens play with themselves

Beowulf Xtreme Box Blockers

Sasha blocking the Xtreme blender box with Beowulf for backup

Whenever we place a box on the counter, all the cats go crazy over it, especially Sasha and Spunk. Many years ago, we were burning out run-of-the-mill blenders every two weeks making smoothies, frozen margaritas, soups, and whatever else would blend. Eleven years ago I broke down and bought an industrial 3.0 HP blender. We finally wore that one out, with a little help from the ghosts who would turn it on and off at 3:00 am. The ghosts were probably ROTFLTAO watching the two of us muddling around in the middle of the night trying to figure out where the jet engine sound was coming from. I had to start unplugging the blender at night. I replaced the 3.0 HP blender with a 3.5 HP Xtreme industrial blender.

Laurie was using the Xtreme blender box to scan Beowulf in the original Old English with her iPad. She scans Latin and Old English texts and then writes on the scanned text on her iPad while she’s translating it.

Intermission: I received a package from France. It’s a book of French comics.

Spunk says Sasha may look like a tough Xtreme box blocker, but, as you can see, she is no longer blocking the box. I think Spunk is better at channeling his inner Beowulf. The old worn-out blender is on the table in the background.

 

La La La La Llorona

I presented my paper Quinientos años de lágrimas: The persistence of La Llorona — 16th Century to Present at The 52nd Annual Convention of the Northeast Modern Language Association this afternoon. The convention was scheduled to be held in Philadelphia, PA, but like so many things in our world of covid cooties, the organizers decided it was best to do a virtual conference. That was a wise decision, but it certainly changes the dynamics of a conference. I thought it was fitting to add the above parody I posted last year.

The last warning sliver moon in March.Sasha: “Do you like my La Llorona eyes?”

Marble: “No Sasha! This is how you make La Lorona eyes!”

Neither of you has it right. You need to be crying. Sasha & Marble: “Cats don’t cry! Stupid La Llorona!”

Silver: “La Llorona? Meh!”

Spunk: “No stinking La Llorona will get to me behind these bars!”

Glenda: “What’s that you say?”

“La la la La Llorona?”

Loki: “I’m not impressed!”

“Talk to the paws and claws La Llorona!”

Gwendolyn: “Yeah! Talk to the paws!”

Daddy Owl: “I don’t see no stinking La Llorona! What’s that you say? La Llorona can shapeshift into an owl? Ha ha ho ho hoo who. That’s a Hoot!”