Glenda (foreground), and Gwendolyn (background) are in the catio looking for birthday birds. They were born on July 4, 2020.

Gwendolyn: “Three Years! That makes me like 28 years old!”

Gwendolyn (looking at the camera) and Glenda napping together on the deck.

Glenda reflecting

Spunk wrote a Heavy Metal parody called Death To All But Kitties for Glenda and Gwendolyn for their 3rd birthday. The lyrics are brutal, so dog lovers might not take well to Spunk’s parody. All of the cats dislike dogs, but Gwendolyn despises dogs more than anything. The first time Tristan brought Jake to the house, Gwendoly injured her spine trying to escape the monster dog that invaded her space. Jake only be’d a dog, but he really scared Gwendolyn. She lost the use of her legs for a week from her spinal injury. We were really worried about her. When she has gotten careless jumping on things or playing rough with the other kitties, she has reinjured her spine and again lost mobility in her hind legs. She still high-tails it when Tristan brings the dogs over, but she hasn’t injured herself in over a year.

Death To All But Kitties
Lyrics by Spunk Kitty
Music by Steel Panther

All right!
Meow!

Down with stupid dogs, I’m spraying on the wall
They look like shaggy retards licking on their balls
Pluto is a fool, and so is Scooby doo
Sniffing each other’s butts and rolling in their poo

They lick their butts, and people’s faces with their grody tongues
Everybody shout, “Kitties rule! Cats are fun!”

Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties

Death to all Dalmatians. Did you get their gist?
They’re whizzing on the fires, getting burnt to a crisp
Wearing black polka dots, really stupid critters
Eating Tootsie Rolls that we bury in our litter

Where are the Stray Cats? And Sylvester, too?
We strut around and act weird; that’s what kitties do

Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties

Kill those dumb old doggies who have a pedigree
They can hump on your leg all night; you won’t disagree

Kill sassy Lassie leaving Timmy in the well
Kill Old Yeller too. Been done? Oh, what the hell?
Screw Lady and the Tramp, death to Red Dog Blue
They can do the doggie shag. Wouldn’t that be cool?

Frankenweenie is a drag, Snoopy, don’t come home
Let ’em fight it out in a thunder dome

Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties
Death to all but kitties