After I finished intensive chemo in 2010, I complained to my oncologist about not having feeling in my fingertips or toes. I asked when the feeling would return. She said probably never. I gave her a disappointed look and grumbled about it. She said, “It’s better than the alternative. Stop complaining, you’re still standing above the ground!” She was right. I had no right to complain. She had saved my life, and following her instructions, I never got sick or had any complications that I’d heard so many people had with chemo. After my second bout with cancer, and even more intense chemo than I had with the first bout, there was no chance of regaining much feeling in my fingertips.
As one might imagine, playing the guitar with numb fingertips is challenging. I started relearning to play the guitar in 2018. I wrote the lyrics to Standing in 2019, but never got a tune or music worked out that I liked. I gave AI Music the lyrics and the parameters for the music, and I finally got a song I liked.
Søren knows what it’s like to be standing!
Standing
By Timothy Price
Verse 1
Numb and swollen fingers
Fumble on the strings
I can’t feel the music
I’m Lost in sonic spaces
Verse 2
My guitar rings in my ears
I struggle with the sound
I’m trying to make some music
A joyful noise is what comes out
Chorus
But I won’t complain
And I won’t shed tears
It’s a miracle
That I’m still here
I won’t go down
Or get torn usunder
Becase I’m still standing
Above the ground
Bridge
Errant notes dangle
Then they Fall
Slipped off strings
And fingerboard
They lie scattered
Across the floor
They’re silenced
Under foot
Otro
Numb and swollen fingers
Still fumble on the strings
I still can’t feel the music
I’m still lost in sonic spaces
Off Center & Not Even 
The music and the lyrics turned out great!
Thanks, Liz. I’m happy you liked it.
You’re welcome, Tim.
Wonderful!
And contrary to popular sayings, complaining about one’s state is always fair. Yes, you had 2 great survivals… that doesn’t mean you have no right to complain about the complications!
Perhaps. But she made a very good point. Thanks, Leenda.
I agree!
Kudos on beating cancer and learning to play guitar with no feeling in your fingers Tim.
Thanks, Brad. I was tough to not play for so many years.
I’ve wondered if or when you would tackle this issue (series of issues). What you have done with the video and this post is impressive. Sometimes I forget about everything you have been through. While hearing and reading this, what came into my mind was the trip the four of us made to Dixon’s that beautiful autumn day followed by dinner that you and Laurie prepared.
Anyway, I enjoyed and appreciated this post.
That was a wonderful day, and the sad thing is Dixon’s only survived one year after our visit. We have both had our share of miracles. Thanks, Susan.
Wonderful poem !! Raw and resilient—this piece captures the struggle and strength of creating through pain. There’s beauty in the honesty, and power in the refusal to give up. It’s a quiet anthem of perseverance.
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, Srikanth. One should never give up.
Timothy you’re abrave guy to tackle this the way you ahve here. Hats off to you..
Thanks, Shey.
Thanks for posting this touching story and video. It made me realise that I have to enjoy all the little things in life. And now I raise my espresso cup to your health!
I know you have had your share of losses, and I have lost good friends to cancer. It makes me sad to think the treatments didn’t worrk for them, and even more greatful that I survived. Thanks, Herman.
It’s a great song, Timothy 🎸
Oh, Standing you are, Tim and standing tall! I love the song and a little complain from now and then doesn’t harm! The gratitude won’t fade! 😉
Søren stands beautifully [also]!
Thanks, Marina. I’m happy you liked the song.
Very much!
Quite a physical and creative journey, Tim. I didn’t know that numbness could be a side-effect. This turned out well. Congrats.
You have done well, Tim. I remember your struggles with cancer and the side effects. The things you do in spite of it all still amaze me! I have rarely met anyone so grounded in life, and living it to its fullest, as you. Excellent video and song, Tim.
Good to see Søren. That is a regal pose!
Thanks, Lavinia. You have lived through some rough times also. Similarly, I am amazed you still run, farm, and perform. We keep moving forward.
I haven’t run in a long time, but do walk. Running is too hard on old injuries between Track & Field back and horseback riding.
Yes, we keep moving forward!
Thank you for posting this Tim. I love this:
Errant notes dangle
Then they Fall
Slipped off strings
And fingerboard
They lie scattered
Across the floor
They’re silenced
Under foot
Beautiful
Thanks for the wonderful comment, Sylvia. I’m happy you like the song and the bridge. So many errant notes end up on the floor before I get something decent to come out.
Terrific blend of images with lyrics, Timothy. Your survival and still standing is an inspiration.
Thanks, Cheyenne. I appreciate it.
Tim — I’m definitely glad you’re still here. The song is very evocative, and the video is terrific. You just get better and better at making them. That’s a great portrait of Søren. Big hugs to you, Laurie, and all the critters.
Thanks, Teagan. I’m happy I’m still here, also. It is a miracle. I hope you and your kitties are having a super Sunday.
Low key, but good that equals good. 🐱
Did you read “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman? The protagonist calls a fellow inmate Low Key, but Low Key in reality is Loki.
Ha! I’ve seen the title, but I haven’t read it. LOL, great play on words.
Moving & inspirational. Happy you are better.
Thanks, Cindy.
Challenges put things in perspective and your attitude is motivational for us. Glad you’re here! 🎶
Thanks, Michele. I appreciate you.
You’re welcome and I you. 🙏🏻
Tim – your posts always give me a lift for my day. You have a marvelous way of bringing courage to our blogging community. Your lyrics are powerful!
But I won’t complain
And I won’t shed tears
It’s a miracle
That I’m still here
I won’t go down
Or get torn usunder
Becase I’m still standing
Above the ground
Thanks for your wonderful comment, Rebecca. I feel very fortunate to have survived this long, when so many people haven’t been as fortunate.
enjoyed the song and its images, its triumphant tone ; AI Music served you well !
Thanks for the wonderful comment, John.
I didn’t know about you had been sick. I’m sorry, even if it was awhile ago. Great song and I’m happy you’re here.
Most anyone who started following my blog after 2016 might not know about the cancers. Thanks, Gigi.
❤️
You have a great attitude Tim, for having been through two bouts of cancer, still standing is a blessing! Love the song, great guitar and lyrics, knowing the meaning behind it makes it even more special!😊🎶
Thanks, Tiffany. This song needed the story that inspried it.
The song is unprecedentedly human unlike anything I ‘ve heard from A.I. – and I’ve heard a lot. This is undoubtedly credited to you, Tim. As I’ ve told you again before, you’re a hero and an inspiration!
Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging comment, Socratis. AI is really challenging to get it right. However, the music model is much more responsive to my prompts than the image and animation models.
I give the music engine the lyrics, the parameters I want like the key, the tempo, the style, modulations, key changes, voicings, and sound I want. I often give it the chord progression and where to place solos, as well. Then I pull the music apart into tracks, import the tracks into my DAW, record my vocals, or add Teagan’s vocals for the songs she sings on, add effects, and then render the final mix.
While it only takes AI about 5 minutes to create a song, after I get the music I want, I spend hours recording vocals and tweaking the music to get it to sound natural. I do the same process with some of the songs where I have used the AI vocals to make the AI vocals sound as natural as possible. There is a lot of post-processing and production involved to get a song to come out right.
Creating images and animation with AI is a lot more challenging, time-consuming, and frustrating because there are times the AI models will simply refuse to create what I ask for no matter how I ask. Once I do get the samples that will work, I import them into iMovie to create a video.
The effort you put into the musical aspect is crystal clear. As for the visual side, I get what you mean—just thinking about the headaches that machine has caused me, with my limited requests, like occasionally illustrating an article or something. Keep up the good work!
What a great job, Tim! I’m sorry though you have those side effects but good for you, you stay with it!!!
🩷🙌🙌 you have a great attitude!
Thanks, Cindy.
Great video! I’m sorry that happened to you.
Thanks, Dawn.
Bravo to you, Tim! xx
The sog is FAB!
Thanks, Resa. I’m happy you liked it.
Great job, Tim on the lyrics.
Being hard on oneself is natural and you are allowed to complain about what ails you. Airing frustration is a form of therapy I tell myself 🥴😊😬
Thanks, Becky.
So pleased you are standing! You are amazing my friend!
Thanks, Julie.
Good song with a good message. Just remember Toni Iommi went onto quite a career with caps on his fingertips after cutting the tips off when he was 17. Mentioned it before, but you officially have the second song I am aware of that has used the “asunder” word (other was Kate Bush).
I’m sure you’re feeling torn assunder after your recent diagnosis. I’ve had a lot of that feeling. Thanks, Brian.