Steampunk Sam resorts to pedaling after his balloons were confiscated by local authorities.

Party City Stores Raided
FBI agents raided more than 700 Party City stores across the USA on Friday after the Biden Administration learned that most of the balloons sold at Party City Stores are made in China. “It has come to our attention that Party City sells Chinese ‘SPY’ balloons.” Said Karine Jean-Pierre in a press conference. “That makes Party City a threat to national security and possibly guilty of espionage.” Party City officials were not available for comment at press time. However, an anonymous source close to the issue said, “How ridiculous! Party City sells ‘PARTY’ balloons not ‘SPY’ balloons! Besides they buy balloons from non-Communits countries, also.”

An FBI agent was overheard saying, “Too bad Chick-Fil-A, and Mike Lindell don’t sell Chinese spy balloons so we could take them down, also!” Henrietta Haberdasher was walking away from the checkout stand with balloons she purchased for her granddaughter’s birthday party when the FBI used flashbang grenades to break the glass in the doors before storming the store. Ms. Haberdasher commented, “They put on quite a show for much of nothing. Those doors had signs that read ‘Doors to remain unlocked during business hours.’ They took all the balloons I had just purchased. It’s just a stupid excuse for those government sourpusses to keep ‘we the people,” especially kids, from having fun. Now only criminals and law enforcement will have balloons!”

At press time there was a rumor that President Biden was signing an executive order outlawing the possession of balloons, forcing Ronald McDonald, Bozo and Krusty to go into hiding. Sources close to the President said, “We’ll get you clowns!”

They’re coming to get you clowns!

Vincent is a perfect spy balloon.