Lindy’s in Downtown Albuquerque

I found myself thinking about the day I had a “Dead Texan Burger” for lunch many years ago. I was not really into cannibalism back then, and even less so today, but I just couldn’t pass up a dead Texan. I found the notes from my lunchtime conversation with the waitress. I’m not making this up:

Waitress: “What can I get you today?”
Me: “I’ll have one of those ‘Dead Texan Burger’ specials.”
Waitress: “Very good.”
Me: “How did they slaughter and prepare the Texan?”
Waitress: “Oh! He was roadkill. We scraped him up off the corner this morning.”
Me: “Mmmm! Even better!”
Waitress: “Would you like anything to drink with your order?”
Me: “Pump me a glass of Coca-Cola, please!”

These lovely young women took my order, pumped my Coca-Cola, and served the roadkill.

As I sat at the table waiting for my order, I started thinking what could be more green than recycling that morning’s hit-and-run, and turning it into the day’s special? I also had a few flashbacks to a couple of old movies from the ‘70s: “Soylent Green” where Charlton Heston was beaten up, and being carried out on a stretcher saying “Soylent Green is people!” I also thought about “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” where the bad guys hit their victims in the head with sledgehammers, hung them on meat hooks to bleed out, sawed them up with chainsaws, and then cooked their victims and sold them as Texas Barbecue. Oh man! I’m drooling like Jake waiting for a pupachino just thinking about Texas Barbecue.

I searched through my photo archives, but I did not find any photos of the actual burger. I remember it looked like any other burger, except it was coated with red chile to help tame the wild taste, and it had a fried egg on top that, I believe, represented a flattened 10-gallon hat. I have a vague memory that the burger was tasty.

Picking up another hit-and-run