Tag: hyacinths

Cheez Almost Gone

Timothy Price36 Comments

“Ah! Hmm! Papa Ratzo! Are you like dense or something? Can’t YOU see the CHEEZ is COVERED?”

Loki: “It looks like a wee bit of Cheez. It stinks like an Old wee bit of Cheez. It’s dry like an Old wee bit of Cheez…”

Loki: “I think the stupid, clueless Papa Ratzo duped us with a piddling amount of cheez! I’m outta here!”

Silver: “Wait! Loki! You’re leaving me to deal with the stupid, clueless Papa Ratzo and a piddling amount of dry, stinky Cheez?”

Cats: “Are you ILL il Papa Ratzo? Did you not learn anything from the CHEEZ incident earlier?”

Paparazzo: “I just topped off the jug and blessed it! What else do you want me to do?”

Cats: “You need to ask? You are more clueless than we thought!”

An Old Man’s Blues

Timothy Price42 Comments

Lyrics by Timothy Price. Music by Elton John. The lyrics are at the bottom of the post.

An Old Man’s Blues is my rewrite of Elton John’s Screw You (Young Man’s Blues), which was on the flip side of the Goodbye Yellow Brick Road single (45rpm) released in 1973. I bought the Goodbye Yellow Brick Road single in 1974 before I could afford to buy the album. I ended up playing the B-side more than the A-side because I identified with Screw You (Young Man’s Blues) when I was a sophomore in high school. I was a misfit weirdo, and I was teased a lot. One of the many reasons I dropped out of high school when I was 16.

I was working on a cover of Screw You (Young Man’s Blues) when I decided I needed to update the lyrics from 1970s England to 2024 New Mexico. Plus, the way I rewrote the bridge addresses some of the recent strange encounters in the blogosphere.

One of the images I did for the song art for An Old Man’s Blues.

More bloomin’ blooms

An Old Man’s Blues
Lyrics by Timothy Price
Music by Elton John

Now that I’m old, I don’t have much fun
I can’t see or hear or talk to anyone
My back’s a pain. There is so much strife
I’m gotta clean the kitty litter, oh what a life

I say screw you
I ain’t got nothing to choose
I live on my laptop
Cause there’s nothing else I can do

Screw you, I ain’t got nothin’ to choose
I’m livin’ on my laptop cause there’s nothin’ else I can do

I was workin’ downtown when I got in a fight
I was beaten in an alley out in broad daylight
The cops could care less; they were downright scary
Sayin’ “Make my day!” Just like Dirty Harry

They said, “Screw you!”
Oh, you stupid old fool
You work downtown
You get beaten by a Tool

Screw you! Oh, you stupid old fool
You work downtown
You get beaten by a Tool

See, there’s femmes who get laid for being slaves
Femmes who get paid for being laid
There’s femmes behind screen names who prey with delight
Those femmes they are liars; they are as dark as the night
They lie, scratch, and whine, trying to make a dime
And all of them say, “Get out my way! Screw you!”

I’ve stared at a screen from seven ’til nine
The wear on my eyes nearly drove me blind
Tryin’ to make riches with nothing to share
Gettin’ hell from my staff, but I didn’t care

They said, “Screw you!”
That’s all we’re gonna do
We’re not existing for someone like you

Screw you! This is all we’re gonna do
We’re not existing for someone like you

Screw you! Screw you!
(Screw you, screw you, screw you, screw you, screw you, screw you, screw you, screw you)