I Am A Man

Lyrics by Paul Shanklin. Music by Ray Burton. Vocals by Timothy Price.

I Am A Man is one of my favorite parodies. It’s such a perfect description of a man put to the music of I Am Women by Helen Reddy. Paul Shanklin is one of my inspirations for parodies along with Weird Al Yankovic. Lyrics are at the bottom of the post.

The toad that came in from the rain.

We have jugs, fountains, and bowls of water for the cats. Now, we have to leave a cup of water out for the jumping spiders.

I Am A Man
Lyrics by Paul Shanklin
Music by Ray Burton

Pull my finger, hear me roar
Like ten thousand times before
And you know that when I listen, I pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
Pick your socks up off the floor
But you know that I’ll just throw them down again

Oh, yes, I’m right, but it’s wisdom born with pain
Yes, I paid the price; just look how much I’ve gained
If I have to, I can eat anything
I am wrong (wrong)
I am insensitive (insensitive)
I’m a man

You can try, but never break me
‘Cause my mama never made me
Do nothin’ ’round the house but lick the bowl
I’ve got bigger things to ponder
I’m not the one who’s supposed to launder
Where are more batteries for my remote?

Whoa, yes, I’m right
But it’s wisdom born with pain
Yes, I’ll pay the price
But I get to watch the game
If I have to
I can fix anything
I am wrong (wrong)
I am insensitive ((insensitive)
I’m a man

Don’t you forget it, baby

I am man; watch me mow
See me swing just like a pro
And I still like Lucky Charms with eggs and ham
But she’s still a little slow
With a long, long way to go
How can I make your mama understand?

Oh, yes, I’m right
Or else I know who to blame
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I’ve gained
If I have to
I can sleep anywhere
I am wrong (wrong)
Sure, I’m insensitive (Neanderthal)
I’m a man

I’m a man

That’s right
Don’t you forget it
I’m gonna have fun tonight
I’m headed down to the bowling alley with Tony
And we’re not gonna come back ’til 3 a.m.
You have a trailer all to yourself
Come on, Bubba, let’s go
What do you mean your wife wants you to stay home?
Are you some kind of wimp? Or what?

We Bought And Killed A Stairway To Heaven

A pot full of name tags from all our roses that have died over the years, mainly due to late hard frosts.

Spunk meditating on a landing from a stairway to Heaven.

Gwendolyn: “What are you talking about, stupid Paparazzo? I just climbed a stairway to Heaven to get here! 🤬!” Sasha: “And I just climbed a stairway to purgatory to get here. 🤪!”

I wonder how many other people have bought and killed a Stairway To Heaven? It’s a gripping, dripping question.

Gwendolyn: “I think I see a stairway to Heaven through the microwave glass!”

Silly Silver and Spunk: “No comment!”

Sasha meditating on a question about electrolytes and hydration needed to climb a stairway to Heaven.